finding-my-bliss

Simply Hanging In ~ . foxy bides her time hanging in there on the rail dreaming of Mr fox A friend asked about self-care, how was I caring for myself? The answer is simple, I look through the lens,  I line up some lusciousness, I click and create a story, I edit, and then sometimes I haiku my story  ~ simply,  syllables,  five seven five! I Haiku my Heart ~ Recuerda mi Corazon

The Robin & Coming Undone ~ Apparently one of the many emotional states one may go through in grieving is the feeling you are going Mad , this is a very frightening feeling that I identify with.  This may arise as being confused about your own beliefs, strong beliefs that may now start to melt in the light of your experience.  One of the hardest things about this whole episode is that I now have to look myself squarely in the eye and ask if all of my grandiose words about connection to the Divine still hold water! There is much talk of 'authenticity' and now I find I'm asking myself questions about my core beliefs, what has now surfaced under extreme pressure? How do I truly feel about my connection to the Divine?  I must admit lately this yoking has seemed tenuous and there have been times when my own words have come unstuck and looked like they may have been dissolved down the universal plug-hole!  The day a robin flew into the house window is an e...

A Simple Message ~ ♥ draw anew each day . intention to play softly in the light of love ♥ Over here in the UK a brand new series of Grand Designs is being aired on TV.  Last night I was immersed into a world of serenity when a new build featured an authentic Japanese room, created to transport the occupants back home.  The simple and minimal layout with soft traditional elements immediately conveyed peace.  It wasn't just the beautiful design features that impacted my senses but I felt such a longing to be in that space, environment, to experience a life for a time free of clutter both physical and mental.  I have been trying to clear my love's garage and my home of anything that is not useful or necessary for I need to move away. I have been working non-stop to keep the place presentable so that when the time is right I will be ready to go, I'm waiting for a buyer.  I have a garden the size of a small park which needs lots of attention so I...

Abstract ~ Slipping Away . I just realized it is ten days since I posted, I don't like this thought of life galloping away from me whilst feeling time-warped! I was counting the days since my love passed, it came to a hundred and nineteen but seems like only yesterday compared to the few score days he was ill, this felt like an eternity of suffering. I have this photo of him taken not long before he passed, you can see he is really sick but he has the most beautiful expression on his face. I talk to it often and kiss it, or should I say 'I talk to him often' for I swear he is still breathing, I can feel him... This is what scares me the most, the slipping away of him, some days I try to visualize him, each of his body parts, they are clear, right down to the little brown spot under his foot. The hardest thing is remembering his voice, the tone, if only I had recorded it. He would always sing first thing of a morning when his voice was more gravelly I do re...

 

I am taking a little detour off of the 'Grief Path' story for the time being, for I am feeling entrenched and bogged down by the detail and not lifted! I will be back chipping in now and again with my progress on this difficult road but, my aspirations for telling the whole story might have to be weaved into the everyday, for I do not want to drown in my own grief story...

Orb Hunting  a Lovely Distraction ... Grieving is the hardest day's work I have ever done, and for sure grief is work for it has a purpose an outworking! I am learning all the time, like you cannot move on from grief it is something you have to go through! You might have already detected my feeling a need to move on from the previous post, but I have realised there is no sidestepping grief, this is not an option.  Grief is attached to the thing or person loved and lost, the bigger the attachment the deeper the grief! Like the saying "grief is the price you pay for loving".  I said at the beginning I wanted to document my experience here in the darkest place I've been so far and to be honest with myself and readers. So this is no place for flowery speech or for setting grief in the middle of a rose garden, much of this is raw stuff! Having said that hope does orbit around me and sitting in a rose garden would certainly help too!  I am no stranger to dep...