finding-my-bliss

Time hung so heavy the day before, I was so very anxious at the vet's appointment, I think I had anticipated the worst, "yes the ulcer is deeper, I think we need to move to the next option now". This morning we got up early for the op, we left our dear Dougal in the consultation room, his claws tried to grip the floor in a get-away as the nice lady vet coaxed him to stay. We both retreated through the door in silence. The traffic lights were on green, I had to nudge her, "we should go" I said, both teary eyed. We'd been in this place before when he was a pup, they sewed his inner eyelids together to save his sight, it was a success then but no guarantees this time! Why do I get so emotional? Is it because this boy owns a piece of both our hearts? Sharing the ups and downs the traumas my girl and I have been through this past five years! I'm not sure why we are so bound together, but my heart is in my hand over this little chap an...

I was feeling particularly pensive this morning, nay, panicky is more apt! It was yoga day and I didn't want to go, to make the effort,  like I needed to rest from this attack of panic! I felt I'd left all that behind,  all the panic thoughts, I'd done the work,  the self help, personal development.... I'd made strides over the years,  and besides being older now, I assigned these  feelings as part of the path from youth to middle years. It was a difficult decision, but I  got ready anyway, resisting my thoughts, but they continued to follow and  bombard me all the way to the studio. Feelings of not being able to trust my  own judgment on many levels. Yes, the familiar fear feelings had risen again. Once on my mat the thoughts started to subside and melt with each soothing chime sound, deepening as a soft voice from the front uttered "relax and simply breathe". It was afte...

The morning was the same as  all the other mornings this April, we sat with our mugs of tea, the rain was pattering on the window  for the 29th day in a row. Dougal dog was shaking, the rain makes  him nervous, my love lights a wood fire to bring warmth and comfort into the lounge the crackling and spitting logs make Dougal shake even more. My girl sits on the other couch, she is shaking too, they say it could be the medication or just that she is so anxious. The lounge is not a pretty sight, I have started to emulsion paint to get the place ready  for sale, we can't afford to live here much longer. I write a list for the shopping and  remind my love to make sure he gets the offers, to which he responds, "I'll get what I get", to which I, well,  respond!! .   :~( <<< After they have gone I'm sat stunned and silent, not at all in the mood for painting a book rests on th...