continual sequence of ~>
elemental change ~>
I have not visited this place for sometime...
I have been 'lying low' as an old friend used to put it,
not low through depression or anything like that
but since my love passed away parts of my known world have passed too.
I have difficulty recognizing the landscape around me,
I'm lying low so that I can absorb some of the new terrain.
I am still quite dizzy, it's going to take some time...
Much of what I wrote about here in this space would involve a brief glimpse of 'my love' and our life together. I had thought of closing 'Finding my Bliss', for a pivotal part of everything this blog has stood for seemed on the surface of things to be missing! But as the days have come and gone I am beginning to look at things in a different light and although I am grieving for my love I find I am l feeling his presence, not in a spooky way you understand. I have this wonderful photograph that was taken of him before he died in the hospice, I talk to it! He has such a relaxed warm smiling expression on his face that makes me feel so very close to him and whenever I notice the slightest cloud of grief appear I reach for him and I am inspired, not to necessarily move on, but I feel his ever supporting spirit.
Today I should be cleaning house and so forth as it is up for sale, I can no longer afford to live here, but instead I got to reading some up-building posts, one in particular talked about life's moments as being one continuum. This is how I have come to view what has happened, there have been elemental changes but life is still a 'continuum', I have not let 'my love' go as some would say, I am not clinging to him either or grasping at the past but he is still very much a part of me and the future!
What I have learned so far along this 'continuum', even more poignantly over these last few months, is that 'life is a gift'. I am now learning to look more intently for that gift in everyday... One of the treasured gifts that I put down for awhile after my love's death is the gift of seeing and turning that sight, view, moment into something beautiful, a memory aid. The image above is of something that was catching my eye in the sunshine sparkles of a glass bead bowl, I had to reach for my camera, I intuitively knew there was a gift waiting for me!
Sure enough there it was the 'continuum' of life flowing,
symbolized like ocean tides and spirals,
like a cup running over!
Comments
May the sadness you experience now transform itself, bit by bit, into the gift you can already feel with your fingertips. Departed loved ones may be out of sight, but they remain with us through a soul connection forever.
Somehow I lost the dashboard (control) of Scrappy Grams. I now write under my childhood nickname of Nonnie. May comfort come to you in unexpected ways. I hope you have someone close to you that you can call upon anytime day or night. If not, I offer my ear to listen via email, found on my blog- http://nonniesobservations.blogspot.com
Blessings...
Much love...
to see you here. to feel your light and beauty and reaching out fills me with a pureness and comfort. you are a font of light, courage, and continuum. i see your amazing bright presence and verve when i look at this photograph. finding you here is finding bliss. one day at a time.
right beside you dearest every step of the way.
xoxo
xoxo
artmusedog and carol (A Creative Harbor)
much love...
xoxo
how beautiful you broke heart is
I am so glad you have decided to remain, though would have understood the departure as well....
Your love is with you, I know it is true and he wants you to live on
he loves you so
take your time
there is no rush
grief takes time
and so it should
I hold a flame for you
as you walk this new and unknown road
I know you will find your way
Love and Light coming from across the seas...xox...♥♥♥