Continuum #2 ~ Rising from the Depths

So now I'm further along the 'continuum' ~ sequence of elemental change, what next?

I have been taking my time along the grief path and in so doing have been wondering if there might be some advantage in relating my experience? Is this a possible worthwhile endeavor? Telling my story of grief as it unfolds for the mutual benefit of myself and others? For writing has become an integral part of my creative life and I have realized it's importance particularly at this time as the days can seem long and without purpose, or at least not being able to share that purpose with 'my love' after his parting. I have been plunged into a new landscape of confusion, not knowing which direction to turn, this is new territory for me, I will be telling my story on the hoof!

I've been visiting a couple of support websites not having experienced this type of intense grief before in my life and yes support is what I need! I have lots of care from family, friends and online friends but specialized support maybe is something worth investigating I thought, albeit with some skepticism! In the past I'd heard support groups can be places where lots of crying and bemoaning life's lot is common place and for me this would have the opposite effect of what I hope for, something positive to take forward. I don't want to be leaving any site or support group feeling negative tones, leaving me in the same helpless position! However, I do appreciate that for some talking therapies/groups help release the burden of pent-up emotional grief.

So for me the criteria for my investigations would be how the session or reading left me, did it make me feel hopeful and up-lifted or take me back to the grief-laden feeling? I'm not saying grief should be rushed as I know it takes time and according to the 'professionals' there is no right or wrong way to grieve, but as far as I am concerned life is a gift and, 'looking for that gift in the everyday' philosophy suits me, it's an imperative that I do not undermine this habit by overly dwelling on grief. Having said that I know there will be grief triggers, I will have to find my way around these, this is the challenge and as with all challenges we face ~
'the warrior woman must rise'!

BTW I visited two support sites today, the latter made me laugh see why, it's not heavy honestly, will only take one click and not much reading, just visioning ~ LOL

Visit ~
Heart~Held

A Heady Afternoon

All the Queen's men and women were invited, this was just such a wonderful way to spend an afternoon. Partying with the Royals no less, right outside their font door, a heady occasion! This will feature strongly in my 'Joy Portfolio' Sending to Sharing the Joy Thursday Meri's Musings

More Dot Joining...

All day long we'd be nursing baby and bunny, dress on, dress off, wrapping baby up, washing baby, changing nappies, swaddling her in a blanket, laying her in bed.... I mean the whole day! Then when it was bedtime for granddaughter Connie, of course baby and bunny had to go too... No one has taught her this deep nurturing behavior, it is as natural as breathing... I think this might be why these female doll-like creative expressions keep popping up, why I so enjoy playing with my images, expanding them in the digital playground. As a child I remember the books that had the perforated pull out paper dolls with interchangeable mix and match wardrobes, where the dresses hooked onto the dolls by tabs at the back, this fascinated me. I have the natural desire to nurture, this seems to be deeply seated within the feminine. When looking around 'blogsphere' a profusion of nurturing sister circles have appeared, nourishing and flourishing! I have come to the real

Continuum

A Continuum ~> continual sequence of ~> elemental change ~> By far this is the most difficult post written by myself, ever. I have not visited this place for sometime... I have been 'lying low' as an old friend used to put it, not low through depression or anything like that but since my love passed away parts of my known world have passed too. I have difficulty recognizing the landscape around me, I'm lying low so that I can absorb some of the new terrain. I am still quite dizzy, it's going to take some time... Much of what I wrote about here in this space would involve a brief glimpse of 'my love' and our life together. I had thought of closing 'Finding my Bliss', for a pivotal part of everything this blog has stood for seemed on the surface of things to be missing! But as the days have come and gone I am beginning to look at things in a different light and although I am grieving for my love I find I am l feeling his prese

Nonnie said…

Heartheld was closed. I think I've shared with you before. If I'm repeating, so sorry. I tried joining a women's group in the first year of my honey's death. I found it to be way too soon when I broke down at the 1st meeting for the season. I did go back a year or so later, but that was after my doctor sent me to a therapist. She was wonderful and made it easy for me to share.
Grieving is a process and a journey. Don't let anyone hurry you. I wish you comfort in knowing that you are loved by others.
Nonnie

18 July 2014 at 00:36

suzanne said…

I think sharing your journey through the grieving process is such a powerful one, Sue. Culturally, we seem ill-equipped to walk through this stage of life. Those walking, walk with question. Those lining the pathways question what to say or what to offer. It is a journey - unique only to each of us and what we carry with us. Know that you are supported from all over the world, my friend. Sending much love.

18 July 2014 at 10:21

Lea said…

It is so good to hear from you Sue. What I have found is that some of my story is just for me, no one can really understand it... but... it is in the telling of my story that I hear myself and in telling my story to another I am witnessed. And when we are witnessed it becomes sacred, the story and the telling... It took me a long time (3 years) to go to a grief group and I actually found it heartening. I did have a therapist through and after Milton's death. I so resisted this at first, but found that it helped me a lot. I clicked on the heartheld link and I laughed as well! All my love to you Sue.

19 July 2014 at 03:08

Cat said…

lol...interesting!

love what you are unfolding hear sister....so much so
we need to talk about grief here in North American we don't deal with death, the dying or grief well at all...I have a place you might want to check it...I will email you the link...

you are in my heart as you navigate this new world...and by the way, from where I stand you are doing wonderfully

love and light Sue

19 July 2014 at 19:55

Miss Robyn said…

grief is a journey. a lifetime journey of yours now - waves will come and go and let no one tell you what you 'should' be feeling or what you 'must' do. sometimes instead of finding a way around grief triggers, you have to go through them.. in the dark times, comes the healing. hold your hand out to me when you need.. I am here xoxo love to you dear Sue

23 July 2014 at 05:38

rebecca said…

dearest sue,
thank you for being here. thank you for your remarkably courageous heart and your generous willingness to include us on this most challenging journey.
i love you dear friend. i am thinking of the compassion of ram dass;"we are all just walking each other home."

i am holding your hand dear sue, walking right beside you into the new mysterious landscape that unfolds before us all. knowing you are holding my hand too is a great comfort.
xo

30 July 2014 at 05:08

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