Grief Processing
I have a brand new camera, I got it before my love took ill. I have only used it twice, it was easier to get my old beloved camera out whilst studying technicalities for the switch over. Then life got in the way and here I am still using my old familiar trusted friend even though the battery casing is broke and held together with an elastic band!
My daughter said I "just have to plough through the days" and this is exactly how it is each day, same, same, I seem stuck in the repeated pattern of grief, I so want to move on from this experience for I feel bogged down. My house is on the open market without a stir, I keep mowing the grass, keeping up appearances, hoping someone will fall in love with the place as we both did 15 years ago... But then I don't really know where it is I want to go, except for the calling ocean but I just know I need to be away from this, these days, this life.... I want to start again a new life, a new camera, new experiences...
I know grieving is a process, and like any other process, it takes time and I must be patient for it to have its outworking, however, I know that I am nearing the end of this chapter ready to turn the page, to fly away. In the meantime I am still finding images to play with, to see what becomes, evolves....
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