finding-my-bliss

Sunday ~ I could hear the drum beats once again from over the field in my back garden.  I got the same nostalgic feel haunting me that I'd gotten previously.   This time more so with the passing of my love.  The passing of time shot through my consciousness like an arrow speeding in one fell swoop to it's target, all happening in one day, maybe it did! Tuesday ~ They are packing away now, though I can occasionally hear the drums, and as usual I feel regret not having taken hold of those sticks in the circle, or the true spirit of Stainsby Festival come to that! Every year it seems like alternative nomads are transported to my village to play out a magical scene among our summer fields, they come to tempt me with some other kind of freedom, then before I can get my bearings as the wind blows through dandelion seed-heads it all drifts off away into the ether for one more orbit around the sun. I'm still a babe on the grief path, totally inexperienced and untaug...

So now I'm further along the 'continuum' ~ sequence of elemental change, what next? I have been taking my time along the grief path and in so doing have been wondering if there might be some advantage in relating my experience? Is this a possible worthwhile endeavor? Telling my story of grief as it unfolds for the mutual benefit of myself and others?  For writing has become an integral part of my creative life and I have realized it's importance particularly at this time as the days can seem long and without purpose, or at least not being able to share that purpose with 'my love' after his parting. I have been plunged into a new landscape of confusion, not knowing which direction to turn, this is new territory for me, I will be telling my story on the hoof! I've been visiting a couple of support websites not having experienced this type of intense grief before in my life and yes support is what I need!  I have lots of care from family, frie...

A Continuum ~> continual sequence of ~> elemental change ~> By far this is the most difficult post written by myself, ever. I have not visited this place for sometime... I have been 'lying low' as an old friend used to put it, not low through depression or anything like that but since my love passed away parts of my known world have passed too. I have difficulty recognizing the landscape around me, I'm lying low so that I can absorb some of the new terrain. I am still quite dizzy, it's going to take some time... Much of what I wrote about here in this space would involve a brief glimpse of 'my love' and our life together. I had thought of closing 'Finding my Bliss', for a pivotal part of everything this blog has stood for seemed on the surface of things to be missing! But as the days have come and gone I am beginning to look at things in a different light and although I am grieving for my love I find I am l feeling his prese...