Finding my Bliss

Friday, 18 November 2016

A Winged Haiku

Winged things on my mind
bringing messages of peace
but mostly of TRUST

#Artistsforlove  is an on-line movement where the overriding principle is one of love and belonging to which I am happy to add my name.... 
 Also linking with Haiku my Heart ~ the Home of inclusion.
Recuerda mi Corazon 

Wednesday, 2 November 2016

Shadow Land & Spontaneity

Usually in photography I practice the concept of noticing the moments and what arises and arrives spontaneously as opposed to a staging experience i.e. purposefully choosing a subject to capture. Picking up the camera when something hits my radar of perception is second nature and this in turn mostly leads to the pleasurable treasures of intuitive photography.  Recently due to the exceptional brilliance of the autumn sun through my windows there have been lots of opportunities to capture the clarity of shadows or their subtlety for that matter! Shadow photography is a favourite form of imaging for me.  However, I wanted to make the shots a little more defined for added interest so this lead me to try manufacturing the outcome, or in other words staging!  This doesn't come naturally to me during a photography experience for it touches on the subject of control, taking me out of the comfort zone of going with a meditative flow and into the area of thinking or a cognitive interruption. Anyway I tried a few familiar techniques such as introducing other items only to be frustrated with the outcome as the results lacked a certain 'je ne sais quoi' or x factor that you can't always verbalize but know when it is lacking! Having said that I am all for experimentation and exploring photography, like every other art-form it's all about pushing the boundaries and there are lots of artists well known for their endeavours. It's horses for courses!
I think this runs a lot deeper psychologically speaking for photography when intuitively engaged in as it mirrors what is going on inside and is what is reflected back in the work. For the intuitive painter for example, it will be a spontaneous moving about of paint to bring forth from within, whereas the classically trained artist may want to present their cognitive ideas through skills and techniques learned. There is a lot of satisfaction in building a skills-base for your art-form and some would say an essential prerequisite but for me it is when you get off of the well tried and beaten track that the real adventure begins!  There is no right or wrong path of course but for me it always comes back to spontaneity which gives such a thrill when magical moments arise out of nowhere. Which brings me again onto the subject of the wonderful intuitive painters Flora Bowley & Shiloh Sophia. I was interested in their 'revolutionary' talk and what they had to say about a 'new movement' which I will be expanding on in a future post ~ Look Out.

BN ~ After a spontaneous capture moment in shadow-land I was able to play and bring more definition to to my image in Picasa using HDR-ish, yes I love to combine my skills based graphics artistry with intuitive photography.

Sunday, 30 October 2016

The Light of Haiku

Nothing's black & white
all a matter of shading
as filtered by light...

I love a bit of black and white, clear cut lines of thought, no clutter, yes this is appealing to me at the moment!  
Wanting to see my way clearly through the hazy outlines of reality, the grey shaded areas of dense not knowing!
I should have known life is not really like that at all but a multiplex of every shade imaginable! 
What I need is the light of wisdom to discern!
To qualify the preceding! I'm feeling lost and overwhelmed by my current situation! I have put all of my eggs into one basket by concentrating my efforts on finding a new home for myself at the expense of my spiritual creative practice! Today I decided to take stock and bring myself here to the place where I know that losing myself in the moment with creative exploration will yield results which on this occasion was a black and white image based haiku.
Being in a place of not knowing can be scary and being human I've had the black and white mentality that when I'm settled in a new home everything will fall into place!  But in reality I know this is not the case and as for settled I know there is really no such thing! And so I am learning as I go....

Tuesday, 4 October 2016

The Reading Room & The Epiphany

Visiting the Welsh coast the other week we came upon a gorgeous quaint 'Reading Room' on the seafront.  I wasn't quite sure whether or not to enter as it looked private but had the words 'Please close the door' posted outside so this told me otherwise, I bravely stepped inside to find the most unusual public reading room, just like someone's parlour with stunning ocean views. What a wonderful community facility I thought imagining myself getting comfy in the armchair by the window reading some mysterious seaside adventure novel.  This dedicated reading room made me think about the power of words and writing...
Did you ever fall in love with a few little words that tumbled out of the blue sparking off some random synapse connections giving you that 'aha' feeling? An epiphany that perfectly encapsulates something hidden, some concept that up until that point you only knew intuitively, that you had never joined the dots before? I heard such a sentence recently ~
"Photography literally means ~ writing with Light".
I was stunned by this definition for I had never heard of it before and was immediately enthralled by the notion of photography being a means to writing, writing with light! The idea of writing with light conveys a fullness that is much more than mere aesthetics, being on a deeper communicative level. This revelation is conducive to self exploration I feel in finding out why an image impacts, why we are drawn to some images and not others and the reason for this connection...
I am a newby to Instagram although I've known about this photography platform for years I haven't as yet posted any of my own pictures but am fascinated by the volume of imagery out there. Through this new to me medium I'm finding myself scanning for connection, that is any image that enters my radar of interest. This activity is very useful to understanding what it is I am connecting with and why, I am 'reading' the photographic 'writing' so to speak.  For example following the Instagram hashtags I have picked up and put down groups of images that I thought I would be interested in but soon realized I was becoming bored, although the images may have been amazingly beautiful they seemed to lack that little bit more personal connection to me... This made me wonder what exactly is it about some images I click with? You might ask why I think this is important to the photographer? My answer would be that this exploration helps to uncover or discover our own unique individuality which in turn stimulates our own creatively at the deepest inner levels. It is at this level we are able to create our best work! These creations put out there become reciprocal to the ones we connect with, or those who 'read' our images as it sparks off their own creativity. We are communing with others who are on our wave length so to speak by writing with light! By such communication we are appreciated and valued for expressing our unique!

Friday, 30 September 2016

Holy Hush

Grounded in Haiku
Comforted in Connection
Conjures Holy Hush

Linking with ~>
Haiku my Heart
Recuerda mi Corazon

Monday, 19 September 2016

On Need & Energy

I have a need...

I have a need within that feels like it's going to jump right out of my chest if I don't find a way of bringing forth it's yearning via some creative form.  I'm never sure if it wants to be poetry, prose or pictures, usually one spurs the other but if it is not acted upon it builds in intensity that feels so uncomfortable... I turn to my photo files for inspiration as I'm feeling doubtful at this point, being in a low frame of mind, doubtful of my own ability to create!  Did I ever create anything worthy of putting out there I ask myself? Of course I needn't worry for everything is there, every click of the shutter recorded, every moment I birthed some magic from my lens, I see it anew with the same sense of awe and wonder as if it was yesterday, and so today I can do the same. I can recreate the blissful state that nourishes at will...
It's not surprising that I have this craving to create, that I feel this way, it is an inbuilt need, just as much a need as a physical one for sustenance! It is the need for spiritual fulfillment which is created through allowing the mind to interact with the intuition that rises from within naturally. By way of contemplation at this wonder filled planet the mind and intuition merge together in tandem to do their nourishing work, to form images, words, art of whatever! The creation then manifests itself as fruits of labour and thereby testifies that this soul has witnessed and was bound up with the beauty enmeshed in our cosmos. It is said that energy is never lost but changes form so in this way the energy used becomes a permanent marker of our life...  This pairing uses energy to make visible the innermost reaches of the soul that seeks it's place, that wants to express itself, it's life while in this body on earth, through the medium of love & light...

Sunday, 4 September 2016


"I don't know why people expect art to make sense, when they accept the fact that life doesn't make sense."     David Lynch - City of Absurdity


Sometimes it's good to escape into abstraction, the place where you can just be... There doesn't have to be a reason just an intuition that your are in the right place, on the right track.... It doesn't have to make sense to anyone including yourself, it's all about the feeling of oneness and spontaneity with the work itself as it is working itself out, or freeing the thing that dwells deep within, a surfacing of that unique expression, the voice that is yours.

Thursday, 25 August 2016

~ Pondering ~ 'Meant to Be' ~

Messy, LIFE IS MESSY I thought pondering back over the events of the weekend when my 4 year old granddaughter's disapproving face said it all as she looked on at her new brother's first 'messy' nappy! I laughed at her innocence but got to thinking why do we find it so hard to accept the messy-ness of life? Why is our natural inclination set to the default of wanting everything to be just so? I will admit to having the perfectionist, idealist gene but I'm wondering if it is a genetic inheritance or something learned from childhood, social conditioning etc?
 When I moved into my current home I felt this place was 'meant to be' although I knew it was only to be a temporary home as my real dream lay by the coast somewhere but for the time being things were as good as they could be for I had everything I needed here in this my sanctuary.  I felt really secure and peaceful in this tiny flat perched in a treetop canopy, I could take as long as I needed to morn the loss of my love I thought noticing the turning leaves in the picture perfect view from my window. The branches of the trees formed a circular opening in the canopy with a glimpse of distant hills peeping through and making it complete I could see two birds perched on the branch... As the leaves gradually fell last autumn I felt safe gazing through my window with the pigeons cooing most mornings adding to the tranquility and comfort. I was as content as could be as the days proceeded, 'could be' being the operative words as in truth there were times when I just wanted to step off of this planet living half a life without my love, but somehow the sanctuary and the cooing birds soothed. The pigeons were always there in the background with their constant chattering undertone, even on the coldest days walking my boy they were never far away giving me a sense of calm and 'everything is alright' feeling...   
The year has rolled round and I'm making plans to move from my sanctuary as it is only rented and I want somewhere of my own that I can put my interior stamp on but I haven't found anything yet that fits the bill by the coast, nothing has turned up!  Do I take it that the coast is 'not meant to be'?  Yesterday started out like most other mornings that of trawling the on-line housing market looking for the 'right one'  this being about the three hundredth day in a row with no pleasing results but then I had a sudden jolt, a shock that threw me right away from my preoccupation.  I heard this loud thud coming from the other room, immediately I knew something had collided with my window, something large from the sound of it!  I made my way to the room and catching sight of the window I could see clearly the imprint of a bird's wing, I hardly dare look down to the ground but when I did, there laying on the grass was a pigeon barely moving, I could hardly look, my mind was in turmoil, I left the room hoping the bird would just be stunned, they sometimes are but on my return no, he was still there, laying there as still as could be looking so beautiful with the perfect patterned markings of his tail feathers. I had the 'how could this be' feeling return with my mind in chaotic confusion!  There my symbol of everything that had brought me peace, tranquility, calmness and comfort was laying dead on the grass!  I felt the blow as though it had been struck personally against my own soul and familiar déjà vu feelings began to rise.  It was just like when the small robin met his same fate in the days following the death of my love, when I blamed God/Source/Universe for the loss of the bird which in reality was the death of my partner. ~ Grief Story
 So how am I to take this loss again? As a real personal loss to myself? Or have I learned something from life's experience?  Have I outgrown and left behind the notion of what life is 'meant to be', to be a certain way to fit in with my perfectionist/idealist view?  When I looked at the circular hole in the tree canopy this year it was not quite so roundly perfect, some stems had grown inwards encroaching on the the shape of the circle, the perfectionist in me wanted to snip off those stems to make the hole whole again keeping the symbol of life's cycle perpetually perfect.  But while laying in my bed imagining I could do that I got to thinking that the cycle of life is really not like that at all, this view is just one of my own construct. The cycle of life is actually quite 'messy' chaotically messy at times and even abruptly shocking too but as for 'meant to be' well there are many question marks for me surrounding this popularly used little phrase but what I can't deny is that when you look back at all of the messy and sometimes shockingly abrupt events in life, sometimes out of the blue something comes along that feels like it was 'meant to be' but the question remains meant to be by whom? 
Post Script ~ the image shows all the tiny detail of the bird's wing imprint as it collided with the window this is another example of the wonder of photography and the ability to capture the miraculous! 

Friday, 29 July 2016

Norwegian Dreamscape Expanded

Meditation Morn
My Dreamscape Meanderings
Heavenly pass~time 

I rose early the first morning at dawn, although I'm not sure if it was dawn really as Norway is after all the land of the midnight sun!  Anyway it was an exceptional time to experience the fjords we were told so I crept out of the cabin, being careful not to disturb my sleeping partner and up onto the open deck.   I was the first to appear, only the staff were out arranging the loungers. What a wonderful feeling almost alone on this massive liner feeling totally in awe of both my traveling home and the deep fjord waters we were slipping silently through.

I climbed up the stairs to the highest deck and stood in absolute amazement at the sheer beauty of this place, I thought I could hear some kind of faint mysterious musical notes, to this day I'm still not sure whether this was my imagination going into overdrive at the whole mystical experience or a distant melody carrying through on the air.....

Later after breakfast not having come down from the most surreal morning I sat quietly by the window basking in the reflections of sea birds floating alongside our starboard view.

It was the strangest of feelings but at the same time it felt very intimate in this watery dreamscape. Like the birds and I along with the slowly moving and changing scenery were all at one, blending and merging so naturally. I felt as though I had undergone a kind of deep spiritual bonding with my environment, something was lastingly imprinted onto my mind, heart and being, I am forever changed.

As you will notice most of the above images are artistic reflection impressions of my time on the fjords. This dreamlike landscape that I found myself merging into I have called my dreamscape. I have hundreds of beautiful accurate representations of the landscape, too many to display here but for me the experience lives on so vividly when I spend time with my passion of creatively pushing the boat out so to speak, meditating on these images, intuitively exploring how I can express further my innermost thoughts and feelings through both words and image.
Little did I know way back when I first picked up my camera taking holiday snap shots where this would all lead, what rich depths of discovery were in store for me! How my life story could be told passionately through the lens, enabling such awareness and gratitude for life.
BTW ~  I did not use my big camera on this trip, I used a small compact and sometimes my smart phone. I did not want to be encumbered with the weight and I wanted to keep my awareness free from disruption by technicalities, I shoot in automatic ~ always!

Linking with Rebecca and the Circle of friends at ~
Haiku my Heart

Saturday, 23 July 2016

Norwegian Dreamscape

Hello Petals,

I'm back from the most beautiful of experiences ever....

As a child I sat spell bound in my classroom listening to the teacher's description of far-away places where  rivers flowed through mountain passes by means of some strange sounding water-way ~  the fjords,

I visited the land of my dreams ~

Norwegian Dreamscape ~

Dawn has me breathless,
awed and silenced, standing in reverence 
I slip seamlessly through

Slipping seamlessly through 

this watery dreamscape
where bliss moments rise and merge with the blue

Bliss moments merging into timeless reflections

in this beautiful dreamscape  I'm suspended, I stare,
I see seven sisters falling over rocky hard places
rushing cascading then vanish in mid ~ air

All bow in respect for the vanishing ladies,

the rocky hard places, 
the Divine hand that hewed
this beautiful dreamscape where 
my spirit is floating like some 
slow motion movie I glide silently though

Like the disappearing ladies after cascading and falling

I turn from these moments as they vanish from view
yet their spirits go on surging forever returning
stirring my memory with each day anew...

I dedicate this poem and post to my lovely friends Cynthia & Dennis Taylor who made this all possible, a dream come true.

Reference ~  Seven Sisters Waterfall

Stay tuned for more images of my Norwegian Dreamscape and the extraordinary way I was totally immersed into the experience!

Post Script ~ I noticed today Friday 29th that this post is my 600th ~ I knew it was special!!

Thursday, 16 June 2016


This thing called grief, what is it?    Is it something to fight and conquer or subdue like it's an enemy wanting to hold you down, keep you in it's grip, stifle the life out of you? This is how I have been feeling, like I am held down and captive from fully engaging with life, and yet, there is this ~>
Tinkling, there is this faint awareness of something out there, or perhaps within, or maybe both but it is always there wanting to connect... It is both magical and mystical in nature and I know it can become tangible, these days it is mostly elusive but as long as it calls to me I know I am alive! It is somewhat like the siren calls of mystical mermaids in Greek mythology, beautiful and alluring but perhaps with a hint of risk attached. I have some clues where this thing dwells it can be found in the filtered light coming through some open door or window ~>
Today I came across this beautiful video through an open window, a chance meeting in my life, a coincidence, although some mystics would say there are no coincidences, that everything, every juncture is as it is supposed to be! I'm not sure but what I am sure about is the resonance I had with this conversation. I do not personally know the women chatting but I felt like I was right there with them nodding as they talked about the healing process of creativity how it has the power to transform. It touched me deeply in so many ways, I could relate to this, to past times when creativity gave me a safe place to empty myself while walking the dark paths that straddle life. 
You would be receiving a gift if you were to listen in on the conversation, especially if you need to bring painful hidden feelings to the surface...
See ~>    Flora Bowley in conversation with Shiloh Sophia
Orlando ~> In the wake of yet another episode on the sad register of humankind's hurt to fellow humans what a blessing it is to be a part of an evolving force of sisterhood joining hands across the ether to strengthen all bonds of love....

The Sensory Light  ~ A creative outpouring for Haiku my Heart ~> 

I hear soft tinkling

drifting with sensory light

whisperer of love

I see love and trust

holding hands through the ether

a global embrace

Global embrace feels

love's ever~ quickening pulse

a sisterly vibe

The sisterhood vibe

is spreading love and trust through

a window of words

The window of words

floats with the sensory light

permeating Peace

Joining Rebecca and the circle of friends at ~
Recuerda mi Corazon

Monday, 30 May 2016

Starting anew, again

 The need to release is here, the time to say, to give vision a voice to honour the now ~>
It is two years since my dreams came to a halt, when my expanding dream container got closed tight, so tight like it was sealed and I hadn't the strength to open it... It is still closed but I see the beauty of it alluring me, it is close to my heart nestled upon the silken threads that are covering a place that yearns to breathe free and easy so as to retrieve something lost, something precious, but constrained. 
A strange thing happened today, someone knocked on my door asking who owned the field behind my home as there was a sheep stranded and bleating with it's head trapped between the barbed wire. I was able to point her in the right direction for the sheep's release I'm glad to say but instantly I, being at a heightened emotional state became overwhelmed by the plight of the sheep and turned it upon myself imagining that I was the sheep painfully trapped by life's circumstances. The woman had mentioned that she couldn't leave the sheep helpless there among the other sheep that were obliviously grazing. Again, this endorsed my awareness of the loneliness we as humans can experience and the seemingly callous oblivion of nearby people just getting on with their lives. As soon as I realized where this chain of thoughts were leading I snatched them away focusing on the one kind person and her compassion for the sheep knowing too well the damage of dwelling in the lower self and reminding myself that all these things happen for lesson learning...

I needed a distraction, so I visited my spiritual home, my intuitive place of unleashing, penning the now, I honoured my vision with voice, it feels good to be here, it has been far too long...
Post Script: The reason I am at a heightened emotional state is that it is two years this week since my love passed whilst my brother in law passed yesterday under the same circumstances...

Friday, 1 April 2016

A Time for everything

fearless photographs
turning up just as you are
hidden heart revealed

I have been away from my regular practice of blogging from the heart for quite a while now. Since my love passed away my heart has been broken in so many ways and has felt quite numb at times so my photography and posting has been sporadic, and yet, I still have this yearning within to express, be heard and be seen....
For the artist this is something that cannot be denied as it starts to build up around the heart wanting to be released out into the world of community, so I make my offering, it is a self-portrait, not a usual self-portrait that you would expect but a symbolic one a reflective mood of the time through my kitchen window. 
These images are part of a series that were taken when my love was suffering in hospital, I found solace in those difficult days through photography but the images were raw and I had to keep them concealed, concealing my broken heart.  I haven't been able to make them visible until now almost two years later. There is a time, a season for all things, I feel the time has come to honour my feelings make visible my self-portrait and release my stuck feelings into the universe...  
I join with Rebecca who is featuring Deb Taylor's beautiful self-portraiture photography and like minded community to share myself knowing I will be among a circle of friends.
Haiku my Heart
Recuerda mi Corazon

Saturday, 26 March 2016

An Easter Gift is ~

A dearest spring friend
weaving her words to bring comfort,
love personified...

Whatever the season I'm always grateful for my online friends, I wish everyone a very Happy Easter.

Linking with ~

Haiku my Heart
Recuerda mi Corazon

Friday, 29 January 2016

The Dark Path

Luminous stalwarts
light the darkened path before,
love's surrounding me...

I'm not sure if I've used this image before but no matter I love it so I'm going to put my spin on it today.  What it is throwing up for me, how it expresses my mood, how it serves as a tool for meditation and the creative flow.  Yes this is the great thing about fine art photography it becomes a medium for self-expression at any time...
 From personal meditation and visiting wise words on-line this inspirational phrase keeps circulating in my head "we are exactly where we need to be in the moment".  This concept is not something new to me I came across it a while ago, the notion of being exactly where I need to be at any given moment in my life! Previously I'd always thought I had or should have control over my life and therefor could work things out, my destiny was self-made. Nowadays I realize just how little control we really have...
What the picture throws up today ~
As you may realize it is a water reflection of dark woodland but the trees are illuminated. You might feel a little disorientated as the picture is upside down!  This up-side down feeling is one I am only too familiar with since I lost my partner, my world is so topsy-turvy, I feel like the old ricocheting screen saver (if anyone can remember it?) I'm all over the place with little stable ground to tread on as I try to make serious decisions about my future.
The image though is speaking to me, that yes I am maybe walking through a 'dark night of the soul but, I am actually 'where I need to be' at this hour and not alone. The stability of the large strong trees is reassuring me of their protective presence, their luminosity surrounds me with light, supplying me with what I need for the journey, strengthening and lighting my pathway. 

Sending my haiku to ~

Haiku my Heart
Recuerda mi Corazon 

Friday, 22 January 2016

Tears & The gift of the Empath

Feminine Empath
softness is her secret strength
like driven white snow

Like the driven snow
she covers, shields & protects
whilst charging her love

Charged with love's strong surge
dormant seeds of power rise
giving birth to hope

Birthing seeds of hope
Love Divine purposed her role ~
Feminine Empath

My last haiku post was a difficult one, I couldn't even formulate the simple 5~7~5 syllable content with accuracy for my mind was elsewhere... In the past when my spirits were more buoyant and I had a certain sense of 'C'est la vie' towards the hiccups that came my way haiku poems dripped from the pen like sweet nectar flowing.  I spoke of the 'lean' times in my post as being part of the journey for lesson learning, and so the beauty that has accompanied these days of uncertainty has found it's way in the shedding of much pent-up emotions, unleashed by the empathetic words of sweet sisters.
The true role of the Empath I feel is one born through the path of experience, not necessarily the same experience but the sensing of another's plight and so being in a unique position of catalyst for tearful release of those painful feelings, a kind of conduit for that purpose. 
Interestingly on the subject of the 'Empath' I visited The Mind Unleashed to learn more about the subject and was amazed to find that I had most of the points attributed to that personality type. This is both good and not so good news, there are both positives and draw-backs of being an 'Empath', though from my early investigations I glean that learning self-care is primary and that grounding work is necessary.

Sending my haiku home to ~

Haiku my Heart
Recuerda mi Corazon

Friday, 15 January 2016

Each New Day

Each new day a gift
is waiting to be embraced
I'm shaken & stirred

Today is Haiku my Heart day, I had an image I've been playing around with but no words wanted to keep my picture company.... I do want to keep my blog alive it's been a good friend to me over the years but lately inspiration has been lean.  This I suppose is all part of the journey and so I wait for brighter days... 

Thank you Rebecca for your lovely words today, they inspired my haiku. 
Joining Haiku my Heart once again ~ 
Recuerda mi Corazon

Saturday, 2 January 2016

Starting anew & love links

I'm starting anew
just twenty four hours a day
one day at a time ...

This has been the most difficult period yet since my love passed. I never knew how hard work grieving could be, it was just a word!  I thought it would be a process to get through not one that would keep re-surfacing in stronger, blacker surges... I recently had a lovely gift of words from my on-line sister friend who encouraged me via 'Wild Woman Mystery Cards' to take a stand with myself and acknowledge my power... Yes I did vow to be a 'warrior woman' I remember ~ Warrior Woman Detour but this trial has brought me to the ground... The wise card spoke about realizing our place in the world and turning our own power into action...
So I am starting anew taking some small action daily as my friend encouraged  to "let my power lead".  I have never given up on myself as each morning I am blessed with the most beautiful sunrises in my new abode which always reminds me to be grateful and I am for 'gratitude saves' hey? And so I continue to be grateful for my sweet sister friends here on-line, each one a link of love and with that in mind I would love you to trip on over to ~

 Gotham Girl Chronicles  who has published a beautiful post on 'trusting life's process and reaching out one person at a time...
Happy New Year to you all, my words are ~
 'stand in my power, trust the process, one day at a time'

Linking my post to ~

Haiku my Heart
Recuerda mi Corazon