Finding my Bliss

Tuesday, 31 December 2013

Pondering Pain, Love and the Pulse of Life



On this the last day of 2013 I got up early to meditate, I have been following Andrew Harvey's
recommendations for centering prayer meditation which involves going inward and focusing
on some chosen aspect such as love, peace, faith etc. Over the past few years I have
deepened my resolve to meditate as a means of relaxation which has helped me
enormously to get through some difficult times.

Pain seems to have been a dominating factor in my life for much of the last few years,
either physical or mental pain.  This time last year I was in such a deep dark
place feeling like I was at death's door physically, and thinking about it
now sends a shudder down my spine. Prior to this the personal
mental anguish of caring for my daughter through her own
mental breakdown was excruciatingly painful...

Continuing on this year has brought sad news of people I know who are going through their
own painful trials, having faced Christmas with loved ones knowing their death is on the other
side.  Also here on-line in our own blogging community I read about brave hearts
facing serious health scares. Sometimes it feels like the pain is too hard
to bear, there's no letup for sensitive souls it can seem!

But at the same time the days have been punctuated with joy, beauty, love
and happiness in equal measure. It has felt to me like the darker the days
appeared to be the more brilliantly the sparkles shone and the more
I noticed beauty in the pulse of life. I identify with the sentiment
that the mystic's senses will become sharply attuned to the
polarities of life for lesson learning in every season...

My meditation practice seems to be evolving as time goes on, it has taken on a more spiritual
quality not just as a method of relaxation, for example I chose to meditate on love this
morning, love being the strongest of all energizing forces, as I drifted in and out of
my meditation I prayed for clarity of direction with regard to the energy of love
for 2014. At this present time I'm not sure what this will look like,
but I trust it will become clear!!
Happy 2014 to all you dear hearts
and a big thank you for your caring presence in my life
with your words, visions, compassion and energizing love!  Hugs xxx

Sunday, 29 December 2013

Sending out Soul Sister Sparkles

This more than any other time of the year is the time to shine,
like the proverbial 'morning star' and send out sparkles...


I have been seeing sparkles everywhere and want to send them out...
Why do I want to sparkle and transmit my sparkles to you?
Because I want to catch your attention,
and why do I want to catch your attention?
Is it my ego wanting to be stroked, or something like that....?


Nothing wrong with being stroked, 
we all seek love and wish to be caressed from time to time,
we all thrive on a bit of attention, my two fur-ball boys will testify to this...


However it runs much deeper than this,
it's because we as sisters need to send loving sparkles out to each other
on a regular basis, we need to sparkle and seek sparkles
to nourish each other like loving she deer, knowing
pack love cares for and looks out for one-
another.

An interesting fact is that Does live in the same home or territory for generation after generation. 
The area I live in is called Doe Lea meaning Valley of the Doe.
My wish is that we support each other through all seasons 
to return home time after time to where the love is...

Sending to:
Postcards from Paradise

Sunday, 22 December 2013

Venus through my Window

How can you love someone you have never met physically?
I found myself wondering this evening...
I continued to ponder physicality, what is this?
I have read and I'm sure it is true that the very stuff stars are made of can be found in our human cells...
Tonight I look out with my love on our winter skies we spot the planet Venus, The Evening Star,
I am in awe of this planet's beauty ~ Venus


Every year she appears at this time, shining brilliantly and I feel very emotional because it brings me close to the Creator of all beauty and all things... Again speaking of beauty and closeness, I have never met this one person but I feel very close to her because she is made of the same stuff as you and me and the stars and she shines just as brightly shedding her light and love on all who come into contact with her...

Although being miles away the distance is nothing but the beauty of her soul is everything - we connect, like the stars, we are star sisters, sharing the same origins, so the distance and physicality is really of little concern for we connect in spirit.

Postcards from Paradise
Recuerda mi Corazon 

Saturday, 21 December 2013

The Shortest Day

On the shortest day,
I'm sending the longest love,
to Haiku-ing Hearts



Oh! and a very Happy New Year.... Late for the post but sending anyway to ;~)

Haiku my Heart
Recuerda mi Corazon

Also to all my other lovely bloggy friends.....x

Wednesday, 18 December 2013

Full Moon Pondering

Journeys,
ending too soon,
memories fading, already,
like clouds drifting across the moon...

Tell me please,
will you?
Where did time go?
Has it vaporized?

Or

is it in store
somewhere else
ready to rise
and flow?























Monday, 9 December 2013

SOOC Surprise

Before I head for sea, surf and sand I need to post a SOOC




SOOC
Straight out of the Camera!
Old camera at that!!

Sunday, 8 December 2013

Flight of the Foxes


I have to cut my Mary Meditations short, us two are flying off to the coast where cyber-space is prohibited!!

Be back soon....

Friday, 6 December 2013

12 Days of Mary Meditations #5

Wish on a haiku
float through a window of love
greet hearts in mid air...



My window reflecting in the Christmas bauble.
Yesterday was a day of creative flow, I captured the mood and reflections...
The news of Mandela's death became all the more poignant after losing our dear Joe,
both great men in their own right, sharing a loving and giving spirit,
so I honour this week by using my window of time to share
the same message. Peace

Sharing with:
Recuerda mi Corazon

Thursday, 5 December 2013

12 Days of Mary Meditations #4

Mindful of Mary,
move gently among mortals,
make manifest love...


My mind has been heavenward these last few days,
today I have been playing with a Christmas bauble of the Virgin,
I held her to the light to photograph, I noticed the sun shining through the silver backing...
and as if by magic there she appeared the Virgin and Child peering at me from the stars!

Sharing with:

A Virgin a Day
Recuerda mi Corazon


Wednesday, 4 December 2013

Mary, Mother Earth and Joe

I could not put my mind to posting yesterday hearing the news about Joe,
I did spend a lot of time thinking about him and our connection and I describe this in one word
'affectionate' he always called me 'Ms Foxy', how I will miss this, and of course everyone else who knew Joe's affection will miss this too...


The other thing about Joe that floods my mind is his capacity for the spiritual
which is an even deeper connection to me. I think about the wind, his pilgrimages to the desert on his beloved motorcycle.  His great love for Mother Earth which he spoke of in connection to Mary as being a constant motherly provider, and his closeness to all of nature.  I have been scrolling Joe's blog posts to find one that's close to my heart, that describes his desert experience, his connection to the Great Spirit but it is like trying to find a needle in a haystack so many travelling posts, so what's the message here?

It seems to me that Joe never let life stand still, that he made the most of all the moments,
that he loved and lived with great spirit and was a true warrior for Peace...

If I were to describe Joe as an angel it would be

an Angel of Peace...

Sharing with:
Recuerda mi Corazon


Monday, 2 December 2013

12 Days of Mary Meditations #2

Breathe in and breathe out,
sit with eventide Mary
open up to peace...


Sharing with:

A Virgin a Day
Recuerda mi Corazon

12 Days of Mary Meditations #1

My simple Mary,
all that is deeply knowing,
pure essence within.


Sharing with:

A Virgin a Day
Recuerda mi Corazon

Friday, 22 November 2013

Haiku Meditation Practice

Rest on a haiku,
drawing from deep still water,
float on the ether...


I have come to appreciate the art of haiku as a meditative practice,
the benefits are similar to meditation as a means for calming the mind.

My own process ~

Search through my image files until I connect with my intuition (deeper knowing),
I sit with the image for awhile, I do not struggle for words, I wait until they surface!
Whether they fit in with recognized traditional haiku formula or not
 is secondary to the intention ~

Align the Divine, connect to the stillness within, allow for flow ~
a peace inducing practice.

And of course I promote this peaceful practice
by sharing the love with ~

Haiku my Heart
Recuerda mi Corazon


By Note ~  Having participated in this Haiku my Heart gathering for about 3 years now as a means of connecting with like minded lovelies, this morning I came to a whole new realization, a new way of thinking about this tradition.
I attuned to the import, the full significance of this practice, it had not dawned on me until today ~
Yesterday was a full-on-day, my head was swimming with chatter from a meeting between my group of yoga buddies and me, there had been an upset in the camp, where our peaceful gathering had been violated, perhaps unwittingly but nevertheless the outcome was a painful one and painful in another sense that the group felt at a loss as to handling this complex problem in a yogic way!  I find this intensity hard to deal with! This was all on my mind as I awoke this morning until I was able to rest into the pattern of haiku meditation, and it was at this point that I felt deep appreciation for this meditative practice, the way you can just sink into something soothing and peaceful,
that helps to put things into perspective.

This morning's aha moment has taken the haiku ritual to a whole new level!
I am grateful for nourishing practices such as this.

Monday, 18 November 2013

Today I ...

I spied with my little eye,
tiles,
trees,
triangles...






So after I intuited what was already there calling my attention, after I aligned the Divine, I reached for my camera and just went right on ahead and painted...!


Sunday, 10 November 2013

Coming Out ~ Expressing 'our' unique

Rapid cycling is a term sometimes used in explaining states of mental health,
I am given to 'rapid cycling'!  It comes as part of my creativity package!

When I'm cycling downward the feeling is low, low, like I get to feeling life is a chore, so darn hard work!
Conversely it is true for up-cycling. I get high as a kite, way up high, light and in love with my life!
This is why I'm prepared to put up with the lows without any medical modifications...

I want to be 'present' to all the parts of my life,
the entirety of me, for this is how I am able to express my unique.


This is how I 'Define the Divine' as beautifully expressed in this post by Connie at 
Dirtyfootprints Studio ~ It's Art

The post describes my way of saying the same thing, I call it ~ 'Align the Divine',
I resonate so much with this thought of connecting back to Source and our using the unique expressions we each have as a means of illuminating the gift of Being...

For Connie her connection to Divine is art, which is her beautiful intuitive painting,
on the other hand my connection to the Divine is photography.
For awhile I felt somewhat diminished by the fraternity of painters,
feeling they have exclusive rights on intuition in the art world. The reason being
I thought, that it was easier to express art intuitively through mark making and painting than photography.

However, I have revised my opinion!

The camera in my mind is nothing but a tool, just like the paintbrush,
or any other medium for the purpose of revealing our inner unique expression and
connection to the Divine.

So I have taken heart from this new paradigm shift, I'm coming out on this my 500th post and declaring ~

Intuitive Photography ~ My way of Defining the Divine!


Sharing with
Postcards from Paradise
Recuerda mi Corazon


Friday, 8 November 2013

Language of Flowers

Say it with flowers,
pure essence of expression
love's distillation...


Linking with
Haiku my Heart
Recuerda mi Corazon

Sunday, 27 October 2013

The Essence of 'Now'

It is a hauntingly beautiful day,
I feel like I'm creating my art in the moments as I type,
my art being my 'intuitive expressions' either in words or image...


There is such a chilled out sound coming from my radio,
blending with the wind outdoors and brilliant sunshine illuminating every autumn shade,
this combination always puts me in the mood to create, it's an incubator for the intuitive process and that illusive feeling that I want to hang onto forever... sigh.

Our belongings are in piles throughout the house, waiting to be up-loaded,
we should be on our way by now I'm thinking, lapping up the miles to my home,
journeying to the place of connection, my beloved ocean.

This trip has been eagerly anticipated for over a year since we last visited Whitby. It has been postponed! The lady over the phone said "there have been gale-force storms predicted for this evening, we advise you to put-off your trip for a day, we cannot take responsibility for your motor-home on the cliff's edge!

"Oh darn" I thought, this day is perfect for everything, the wind evoking a mood of mystery associated with Dracula and the Abbey, the raging sea and perfect photo opportunities (see the post)  Gothic Weekend... Now I'm left in a state of whirling confusion. The sight and sound of the wind whipping up leaves outside my window is adding to my state... I find adapting to change difficult, but I know 'Being in the Moment' ~ this is part of my challenge, finding 'balance' and coming to 'stillness' in whatever weather or turn of events, this is possible, I accept the idea that life is full of change and that I must go with the flow, look for the possibility of  'Now'.



The essence of Now, where sparkles shone for me today, 'intuitively' on the periphery of my vision - Captured!



The top two images are SOOC that is straight out of the camera, nothing added or taken away,
the bottom one has been edited in Picasa ~ (contrast, highlights and shadows).
The image is of a poppy photograph on my wall reflecting the window scene with raindrops.
Which do you think and why? I'd love to know?

Have you found sparkles today, if so where?  I would love for you to connect and show me...?
I feel a meme coming on here,  Seek your Sparkles Sunday!  
Er maybe....we'll see...

Yours intuitively.... SF


Friday, 25 October 2013

Intuitive Inquiry



During this time of transition and re-focusing my passion, I'm looking to my images
either at the point of shooting, or post editing  (if any) to inform my journey, inquiry.
To see what it is that has arrived in the moments that capture my heart.
An ongoing investigation as to how I  'Align to Divine',
with a view to inspiring others along this route.

For sure colour and form, hues, texture and balance all have their place
and there are technical experts out there for advice on such matters, but for me that 'essential' something, something other is what I'm looking for, what I want to explore.

What was going on for me in those moments, the moments the sun shone after days of soggy rain for example! Rain soddened earth and two mutts having creepy visitors within their coats was the scene!!! Washing, everything that could be detached and laundered at 60 degrees was, also taking forever in the machine, hanging dank and heavy around the house. Air laden with chemical fumes from doused carpets within, and heavy 'grey' laden air outdoors! And still two mutts scratching....

But oh the intuitive release came with the next day's sun, the crisp air, the colours, the wind beneath lines of laundry, blowing, blowing all of those cares away. Those intuitive magical moments summoned by the awareness of Being and being ready for capturing with the camera is what I am exploring now, how we can tap into this beautiful and nourishing feeling on a regular basis.

Intuitive Photography don't miss a moment, document the days, the slow flow of the river, along with the drama and rush of life, make moments to capture it all, save and savour! There is always something there waiting to transport the essence of the moment through the camera, something shining or sparkling or even symbolic.  Images don't have to be perfect, like with intuitive painting they are yours, your creations, your connection to the Divine, you just have to intuit the moments.

More to come...

Yours intuitively.... SF

Tuesday, 22 October 2013

Taking Notes

I've been taking note, sifting and sorting both physically and mentally,
I like to have a good old clear out now and again,
to re-evaluate the worth of things...




Parring down to the essentials and simplifying has always been a way of life for me ~
My motto is if I don't use it, appreciate it, believe in the worth of it then it has to go...

This is my 495th post, I am also nearing my four year blogging anniversary and thinking about where I am going with it all. I'm not saying I'm about to give up my beloved 'FMB' but that I feel I have become somewhat scattered, maybe even a little lost!  Initially it was all about my images, I was in photography heaven for two whole years, shooting, posting and writing.  I was eager to post and took current advice to just let my blog 'evolve' which I did. I'm glad to say I did for I have met some wonderful, soulful bloggers over the years and experienced a real sense of belonging and love, but here's the thing, somewhere along the way I feel I have diluted myself, that I have lost some of my integrity, sense of purpose, which I want to re-capture.

I have many abstract swirlings going round my head with regard to photography and how I see it and none of these are do with technique but everything to do with life and living in the moment, intuitive photography it is called. It is wonderful, all embracing, therapeutic, even life changing...

So this is my intention:

To gather myself back to me, to concentrate my effort, to focus and become more creative in my offerings in both words and image, to look for new ways to connect.  I might go a bit quiet here while this is going on, I might even re-name my blog with the 500th post, I might lose some of my present connections but I have to listen to this strong voice within. Always!

Yours intuitively.... SF



Friday, 18 October 2013

Red Rage Release

I am searching my image file as I type,
I need an image to match and express my emotion,
there are not many for my images are mostly soft, my emotion is not...

I've found one but it is a little on the subtle-side,
I need to intensify, sharpen, define, deepen...


I'm feeling red rage,
the need to rant, riot, respond...
breathe in, breathe out ~ sigh...

My daughter's mental health downturn has meant she's been off work sick for sometime,
she knows she cannot return to her work,
the organisation who employ her have no alternative but to
terminate her employment, she understands this...
but the method of dismissal, the legal implications,
the monster of a system that has been created
for this purpose is one that makes me feel
SICK.

They are taking a sledge hammer to crack a tiny seed, my tiny seed,
I'm feeling Red Rage.

Intuitively yours....SF

Monday, 14 October 2013

Feeling it on the Breeze

This morning's breeze is stirring the Tamarisk tree outside my window as I tap these keys,
wondering how to release all of the words wanting to escape in some-kind
 of meaningful way onto the page...

The breeze is reminding me of imminent change ~>


Yesterday halfway along the road to my Developing Photoshop course I made a sudden decision, a knee-jerk reaction I know! But my intuition was pressing me, saying 'this is not the way', so a u-turn became necessary! I don't like knee-jerk reactions, they have in the past led to some bad decision making that I have regretted, but the voice was strong, I knew I could no longer ignore it.

My love affair with photography keeps me grasping for connection with like minded souls, which I never seem to come across, the number of image processing courses I have taken over the last twenty years I've lost count of...

My yearning though is much deeper than remembering some technical magical manipulation, turning an image into something else (although I can get lost in this), but my true heart connection is about how I feel at the point of shooting, the moment, the subject, the light, the composition that illusive something that is so hard to describe but you know you have captured it when it sits in your photo fileand you can still feel the same feeling as at the initial point of connection. That is the one image that you would save when one thousand will be deleted, because a little piece of your heart resides there, you want to share it with the world hoping,
just hoping that it may spur some response in another. Many people might not even notice your image and scroll right past not giving a second glance/thought but then there's a chance you might make the elusive connection with just one person who knows where you're coming from! To date I have not found this
connection in any photography or image manipulation course, although I have here on-line...

It is a few days since I made my decision to quit the course, I am not regretting it as of yet,
to the contrary I'm going deeper, listening to the whispers, questioning,
evaluating... there are more changes afoot!
I feel it on the breeze...




Sunday, 6 October 2013

Paradise Pier

Paradise
a place to pause,
.
.
become poised, ready for presence,
.
.
for peering into the realms
of possibility.


Linking with
Postcards from Paradise
Recuerda mi Corazon



Saturday, 5 October 2013

Holding each~other

Our haiku-ing hearts
forever young and in love
holding each other...


For my friends over at
Haiku my heart



Monday, 30 September 2013

For the Journey ~ Stage #3 ~~~~~~ Now to Infinity

After the journey's rocky terrain petered out,
the place of emotional release and point of red-rage painting
the path began to even as the days unfolded,
the heart being held and cradled by soulful searching and
supported by kind comments of encouragement from kindred spirits.


What's left is a visual journey document,
a point of reference, notes to self,
to keep close to heart for the future fortification,
a life journal going forward...


Pages to add treasured comments, suggestions and ideas...


Pages for quotes, poetry, and pretty things...


Pages for more mystical meanderings and imagery...


I will continue to visit these pages,
add more little visual messages as the days continue,
I will book mark the stages as and when from now to infinity...

Thank you all for holding me in loving kindness through these days,
my daughter is past the worst, she/we continue to battle with mental health issues, perhaps battle is not the correct word here, perhaps just holding our hearts in love, compassion and care, perhaps just Being and acceptance, I don't really know, I don't pretend to have all the answers but what I do know is this project of pouring out the emotions in paint and sharing is part of the beautiful journey...
I am grateful. x

Sharing with
Postcards from Paradise...
Recuerda mi Corazon

Friday, 27 September 2013

Detour to 'B'

A little detour...
a shelter along the way
place for perspective


I've been by the coast for a few days,
the place where my heart resides, my favouite place to just Be,
to contemplate, gain some clarity on life's journey,
recharge....

Of course this is the place that brings me home to my true-self, the thing that fuels my passion,
the enigmatic surge that drives me to capture the moments, that mysterious something that is so hard describe...

But if I could bottle up that mysterious 'something',
that beautiful feeling, I would do so and
ship-it out to all of you...

Hope you all find a place to just Be......

Linking with
Haiku my Heart
Recuerda mi Corazon



Friday, 20 September 2013

For the Journey ~ Stage #2 ~~~~Difficult Terrain

Intuitive path
a journey to finding self
under harvest moon

As I said at the outset there would be emotions involved on this journey,
that at starting point the terrain was just a sketchy outline but likely we would encounter some emotional landscape, needing inner strength to see it through...

See first post *here*

I wanted the path of the journey to reveal itself to me intuitively,
I felt like I needed to pour my personal emotions into paint at this point,
but how do you paint
anger
frustration
fear?

Looking at the journey document there seemed a natural little place ready mapped out to lay the first drop of raw paint emotion. At the centre there was a stitched outline of a heart shape that I hadn't noticed previously. it popped right out at me...



The most fearful part of a painting journey is always the first splash of colour, it felt right that red paint be used here to express my emotion, along with sharp and swirling lines expressing my conflict and confusion...


These feelings soon melted when I softened the stroke and took to massaging the heart with a lighter touch adding a softer shade, thinking about the message yoga had given me on the previous day...

... about the rising of the full Harvest Moon, the soft silvery light, reflective and calming, inducing peace, radiating around the heart.  We were encouraged to surround ourselves with this  beautiful light.


As I relaxed into the silver light and breathed more easily the feelings seemed to be released from the heart as if through wings of fire, up and out of the painting, leaving only smears of red emotion behind...




The whole painting seemed to take on a swirling cosmic light effect, the next day a friend left me a supportive message, not knowing about this painting part of the journey~>

"When I went into Silence this morning, asking for help, I saw the image of two hands and forearms being held out - as if in offering, inviting me to take the hands and be lifted up..." 

Christine ~ Mysticmeandering




I took this as a message from the universe and decided to draw these very same hands hugging my heart! 
I feel this journey is a collaboration of hearts!  That friend's support is part of the journey, I am grateful for this, I will show my gratitude by including all suggestion and comments in the final 'journey document' ~>~>
to be revealed! x

Visit 
Haiku my Heart at
Recuerda my Corazon