Finding my Bliss

Friday, 11 December 2015

Sacred Mission

To every Mary,
may our engaging of hearts
pulse out peace & love

This post is dedicated to the Twelve  Days of Mary Love hosted annually by our beloved Rebecca over at Haiku my Heart.  It seems to me more than ever these days we need to keep close together in this sacred mission to promote peace through sister love, by taking whatever means accessible as the world goes through so much grief and suffering  to share solidarity.  For a long time I have been drawn to the idea that this on-line space is a miraculous means to counter much of the unrest, to give hope and comfort for our grieving world. 
My friend Cat over at Love & Light has published a beautiful post on the subject of Grief, go and see ~> ~>

Links ~  Love & Light

Haiku my Heart ~ Recuerda mi Corazon

Friday, 20 November 2015

And still ...

Still, grey, dank and damp
Still sadness shrouds my being
Still I choose gratitude

As I look out upon the morning my day starts grey, my window on the world is a blend of grey tinged with light, I could paint the day colourful by means of words and images for I am able to that and sometimes painting happy is the right thing to do but for today I'm lingering in grey because I feel this is the best way to express my sadness for the world and myself... This on-line space allows for that, for authenticity, the freedom of revealing those grey vulnerable moments, valuing life as surging from and encompassing all of the different shades, for this I am grateful. I am also grateful for gratitude itself, it is a 'friend' and as another friend said it is 'buoying' to the soul.  Choosing the practice of gratitude allows for the light to rise again spontaneously and naturally giving way to colour.  

Linking with
Haiku my Heart
Recuerda mi Corazon

Friday, 13 November 2015


Sometimes you come across a word you've heard, read and used many times before and now suddenly that word takes on a new life with a stronger sense of meaning. Somehow that word albeit simple becomes much, much more, more powerful and motivating... I noticed a leaf on my travels it stood out like a glittering jewel on the roadside, struck by its vivid colours and symmetrical pattern I picked up the leaf and stroked it. On touching the velvety smooth surface the word that had been on my mind for days emerged again, as I looked and thought about the leaf and the word a strange kind of sadness began to creep over me, an intense awareness that this leaf's time-bound beauty also signaled its decline...
floating leaves, fleeting
moments riding on the wind,
 heavenly message...

Sending my words to
Haiku my Heart
Recuerda mi Corazon

Friday, 6 November 2015

Story Telling Pictures

Intuitive take,
old stories and new stories
hangout together.

You can take hundreds of photographs easily on one trip of a life-time! Yet somehow, usually, there is  just one that becomes 'iconic' in that it can sum-up the whole experience, immediately transporting you back in time with all the thrill and vibe of that occasion.  This is the one! It was an intuitive flash of the moment take of my lovely daughter-in-law standing with shadow at the top of the Empire State building on our first day in New York.  I love the way she seems to be hanging and connecting with the story being told of the building's construction worker way back in time.  I love it also because it reminds me of Louisa's loving gesture, organizing our trip with her daughter Cathy to experience such a wonderful place....
Taking the story to another level by way of a Japanese 5~7~5 syllable haiku poem is fun and also a therapeutic brain awakener to start your Friday...
Joining Haiku my Heart ~
Recuerda mi Corazon

Friday, 30 October 2015

It's Time!

It's time to be here,
here in these moody moments,
wings unfurled, ready!

I'm back! It's been a long time.
I've been here, there and everywhere literally and ethereally ~ *** Actually I popped over the pond nearer to some of you folk a few weeks back for a bite of the Big Apple, it was delicious and will post some pics soon.  In my last post I spoke about being 'home' and yes I've moved into a temporary home which feels really comfy, I might be putting down roots, but the real me still longs for the coast, so just now I'm waiting on my intuition to kick in and reveal 'the place'! 
Today when I think about home I'm thinking of my ethereal home here online, a place where I feel really comfy to express my inner most thoughts and feelings as I have done over the years through image and words and what better time to drop back into my ethereal world, now when there's so much magic about!

I'm linking in with my old friends at ~
Haiku my Heart
Recuerda mi Corazon

Friday, 3 July 2015

Going Home

As one good friend said about grieving, it's a time of "going within"
and that's where I've been within my shell, waiting for things
to naturally find their place, for my psyche to re-arrange.,
and now it's time to continue my story...

Today I am, as another good friend put it"tying up loose ends",
sifting and sorting getting ready for my new life...
The government have promised to buy my property after a year of negotiation
as they propose to build a new high speed train line just 100 yards from my front door!
They, like the rest of 'officialdom ' are taking their time and I am at the last hurdle,
learning much patience from this whole tortuous experience.
For one year to-date I have had to plow through many obstacles
during what must be the most painful time of grieving anyone can go through,
that of losing my life long partner! But as my love used to say
"it's an "ill wind that serves nobody any good" and,
actually it has been good for me in a strange kind of way, it has been a distraction albeit forced.
The fact I have 2 acres of land to tend as well as maintain the property in order for
the government to buy it has kept me physically busy on days when
I would rather stay put and just sit, and sit, wondering
what the hell is it all about?!!

Today I am waiting for the go-ahead and I am working in sweltering heat,
something we're not used to here in the UK, so I am glad for the rest on these keys.
I feel the need to return to this online space is an evidence I am returning to normal, or
as I said previously a 'new normal for me so I am documenting my journey.
I am recording the last days here at our beloved cottage not only for the memory
but for the wonderful way writing serves to satisfy something deep within the soul,
for the last five and a half years of documenting my life online
has been a source of great joy and of course
the feed back from other soul sisters
has been such a beautiful thing,
so it is natural that I continue my story here,
I feel like I am going home...

thoughts of going home
sparkling, like the morning dew
that light keeps shining.. 

This video is one inspirational work of art....

Linking with
Haiku my Heart
Recuerda mi Corazon

Sunday, 21 June 2015

The Longest Day

The wired butterfly
waiting on the longest day
yearning for release...

To all who have visited but not found me,
I am still here but silently waiting for the right time to fly,
to return and find a 'new normal' after the long sojourn,
hopefully one of 'transformation'
learning from the journey...

I am joining dear Rebecca at
Haiku my Heart
Always a port of call for soft souls seeking solace, love and light...

Recuerda mi Corazon

Sunday, 31 May 2015

They all Know...

It is one whole year since my love departed.
This place looks pretty much the same without him except the crows are missing,
they seemed to have disappeared about the same time as he did as I recall.
The crow family and my love had a special relationship they
always hung out together by the old stones up stream...

The House Martins didn't show up either this year I think they got word from the crows.
Oh and the frogs decided not to spawn in the still pool under the bridge, for the first time ever!
But, the Wisteria has blossomed like she has never blossomed before!
I think she is giving me a show stopping finale for she knows the time has come...

I'm just waiting for the final go-ahead and then ~
I must say goodbye to this old cottage, these old stones
that have sheltered me for almost sixteen years
I must let go and Trust that there will be
a new chapter for me,
a new beginning
that I will survive,
alone, but not lonely!

Wednesday, 25 February 2015

Around Each Corner ~ Pictures Telling Stories

This wasn't a brilliant picture I'd taken with my phone at the airport but there was something attracting me to it so I spent a little time editing.  At first I thought it was the composition's vertical and octagonal lines, the repeated patterns or reflections that I found interesting, but on further contemplation I realised it was something other drawing my attention, something deeper to do with the human story.

There was a fascination going on with the two older figures and their two suit-cases striding under the clock, also the way my son in the foreground seemed to be gazing their way in deep thought, this sparked my interest! I was picking up on nostalgia and poignancy here...

After studying this image for a while I realised the significance ~

There was my youngest son only just starting out on his family journey, made me think of what lies ahead for him and, of course, the answer is no one really knows.  But was he wondering about this as he looked on at the couple leaving the building?  Probably not, and perhaps this is just my romanticised story view, but it could have been! On the other hand the older couple who may have grown-up children of their own might well be leaving that part of their life behind, family life, heading just the two of them for the final journey together, as symbolised by the timekeeper they were walking under. What's around the corner for them know one knows, just the same...  

A year ago this was me and my love walking the last part of our journey together, as I said poignant, painfully... I read today about trusting the rhythms of life being ready for what the seasons hold, this image signifies just that ~ embracing and trusting life in all of it's shades...

This was a lovely up-building post ~ one to read for a reminder!

Do you have images that tell stories?

Friday, 20 February 2015

Words from the Master ~ Everything Belongs

I'm an aspiring writer, this writing awareness has evolved...
I don't think I would have come to this realisation, that I can actually write
had it not been for my blog and the love of photography staged here,
but due to use my desire to write has grown little by little... sigh!

I have always loved to read a good line or two,
sometime ago I came across a 'master', a 'master' of this writing craft!
I asked him if I may use his words on my blog from time to time
with credit of course, he agreed,
with no further ado
here we go ~

Feeling my path

Posted by Simon Parke, 18 February 2015, 5.57am

I will proceed slowly this Lent season.
I may walk fast, for life goes on;
but I will live slow,
noting the sky, feeling the path beneath my feet, noting the moment:
When I open the curtains
When I catch the bus
Meet my friend
Butter the toast
Sit with pain
Make the coffee
Take the call
Sooth the tears
Bored to tears
Struggle to love
Jealous thoughts
The kingdom of god
The kingdom of crap
Feel the peace
Ponder this spring
Cry despair
Labour to work
Shine at work
Stand my ground
Stand in awe
Give to the poor
Browse online
Worry for tomorrow
Find the calm
Everything belongs
Close the curtains

Moving fast but living slow, noting the sky, feeling my path and no moment lost,
No rush to a better place
For I am here now. 

Monday, 16 February 2015

The Green Light...

The new camera I bought before my love died almost a year ago now still lies in it's box, used only a couple of times! My old faithful light catcher, bound by an elastic band to keep the batteries from falling out is the one I cling to for ease and comfort of the familiar, even though I know she is an aging lady like me, not quite as sharp and perhaps not as bedazzling as her modern counterparts. Having said that she continues to amaze me with her images...

I'm clinging to the familiar, it's like I'm waiting for the lights to change for a shift from the static to pick up from where I left off before my love died, waiting for the signal, the green light to release me from this stuckness to move forward, maybe for a speedy get-away! I've had this kind of paralysis over the last few months, I thought the grieving for my love would be melting away by now, that I would be emerging with renewed vigour with the promise of spring, but no I'm trapped for the time being.  However, some of this state hinges on things that are beyond my control to change, things like finding out if my home is going to be purchased by the government due to the fact they are proposing to place their high speed train track opposite my front door...

Though I have felt stuck and bowed low I have not given way to feelings of hopelessness, even with a daily amount of anxiety added like today for example my dog is in for a biopsy and the rat catcher has just left the house after dealing with the 'uninvited' up in the roof space!!  This time of laying low has had me burrowing down into warm fertile soil, feeling the soft comfort of soul-mates and finding nourishment in the form of wise words... I continue to sift and sort, weighing what lines up with my core, what resonates...

When the lights change I will be ready!

Friday, 13 February 2015

Today I'm...

Seeing ~   buds waiting to open
Thinking ~   I must bide my time to sparkle again
Feeling ~   restrained but not broken
Intuiting ~   there's something good on the horizon.

"This place where you are right now, God circled on a map for you".  Hafiz  
 SourceLove is a Place

Monday, 9 February 2015


"People are like stained glass windows:
They sparkle and shine when the sun is out,

but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light within".

Elisabeth K├╝bler-Ross    

Source ~ word for the day.

Tuesday, 27 January 2015

Wearing Purple

I am in the process of stripping back,
looking through the lens of connection for clarity,
aligning this to my inner knowing or intuition,
so getting closer to the core of me...

There is a kind of subconscious sifting and sorting going on
making its way to the surface, emerging as a desire....
I feel I'm being pulled towards simplicity
in words and image,
an internal clearing of clutter...

I'm taking this as the soul's evolution,
I'm thinking this is part of life's outworking ~
for the golden years, of wearing purple...

Sunday, 11 January 2015

Mingling with Light

I mingle with light
again, the essence of now
I'm falling for you!

I relished my time spent in the basilica ~ Sagrada Familia and now during these mostly dull January days here in the UK I can return to those bright moments to relive the experience.  I am able to study each image and fully go back into that time frame which for me was essentially a meditative one, for most of the time it was a walking meditation totally in the zone.  However, over the two plus hours inside I had to step in and out of the meditation to note the information points in relation to the architecture which, being high in religious symbolism was interesting but my intention was for a pure in the moment experience without the distraction of pre-existing religious concepts, if that is possible! Ideally two separate visits would have been perfect. Interestingly the audio headset encouraged people to spend time in the seated area for contemplation and meditation but I prefered to immerse myself by the window light with my viewfinder and senses fully attuned.  At this point I am not concerned with the settings on my camera so much as this would be an encumberance, knowing this is a cerebral function which can be performed back home to some degree if I so desired. My primary concern was about the experience.

I was transfixed by the sheer beauty and quality of light, feeling relaxed and at home, absorbed into the soft essence, at one with tranquility, presence, peace...

Joining with ~
Haiku my Heart

Monday, 5 January 2015

Start from Where You Are

Today and each day since the clock struck midnight on New Year's Eve I have continued to feel stuck in my tracks, wanting to move but unable, I'm not sure if this feeling's been exaggerated due to the expectations I/we tend to put on ourselves at this time of year or the fact that last year was so very dark for me that I wanted to move swiftly into the light?  In any case I became fidgety and needed to do something! So I am starting where I am, where I left off with the love of photography which always saves the day when I get this feeling, I am starting to walk again... maybe baby steps for now, but that's okay.

Thinking about walking my mind was transported back to an instant as a happy-stance image jumped out at me when I was fortunate enough to visit the beautiful city of Barcelona last December.  My long time admiration and intrigue for the art of Gaudi and dream of visiting his work at the Sagrada Familia became a reality.  I knew what the building looked like from the outside but wasn't prepared for the wonderful light phenomena when inside the basilica! 

The history of the building was fascinating but what was even more special to me was the beautiful light spectacle inside, the atmosphere it created was magical and spiritual.  Whilst many photographers were focusing on the architecture I was absorbed by the light, so much so that my card soon filled with mostly abstract images which I will continue to show in the following days... But the one that stood out and called to me today is this one of someone's boot walking across the highly polished floor and reflecting in the bouncing light, illuminating a moment of time on a stranger's journey.

I thought this image poignant for my post today because it pictures a frozen moment of time on someone else's path.  I have no idea where that person's journey will take them just as I'm not sure about mine but it represents for me a new starting point, a new juncture in my life. I am starting where I am, there are many possibilities ahead!

Friday, 2 January 2015

Shadow of Former Self

They had barely dried
and, before I had chance to lift them, my outstretched wings,
I was floored once more.

They were folding in on themselves damp and dank,
resembling limp foliage that had dared to embrace spring's early sun
only to be dashed back to the frozen earth.

I was grounded without a stirring wind to raise any hope
and, the flight path was now obscured, so I lay mute
for my speech had become stunted, I was in a stuck place with seemingly
no words of wisdom to impart...

I reached for the medicine cabinet knowing my situation was dire...
fumbling for anything that would infuse my spirit,
some connection to hope, love and creativity...
having become a shadow of my former self,
yearning, needing embodiment...

The medicine cabinet was in easy reach,
just a click away would put me in-touch with vital support systems
containing all manner of nourishment.  I knew for I had been
there before many times visiting kind and loving friends,
wise word healing sages and connecting to
visionaries with magical formulas.

But a small gentle voice began to whisper from within
"there, there, its all there deep down inside, at the core in
your special place of silence and knowing, nothing is ever lost
just obscured from view for a time. A time for stillness, a time for healing
for just being, for attached to every shadow is a body and attached to every body
is the everyday miracle of growth and renewal the pure potential for Hope.
Believe and Trust the process..."