Finding my Bliss

Wednesday, 8 August 2012

Slow Subtle Shift

Subtly in slight



hardly noticeable









increments





shift happens



shadows recede




colours emerge and intensify


and slowly, slowly the details of life come back into focus.

My lovely daughter has started to see a little colour return to her life after months,
nearly a year of living in darkness, since her major mental health breakdown occurred.
Charlotte is not out of the woods, she's not ready to focus
on the finer detail of life yet but signs of returning to
normality are appearing.

The days and months were distressing for all of us seeing no change,
watching helplessly as no medicine nor motivational urging made any difference.
Each day was the same just the silence and the shaking......

I repeatedly told her she would get better,
sometimes I thought I was making this statement
as much to convince myself,
she hardly ever responded.

I got to the point where I just thought
I've tried everything,
I can't fix it,
so I stopped trying so hard,
I was just there for her,
a place of safety.

But then I began to notice small changes,
nothing I could put my finger on,
just something in the air,
a subtle change like the day
something on the wind
whispers to you autumn's coming!

It was like that something inside of me whispered she's getting better!

This last couple of weeks have been so encouraging, she's been

loving our few days by the sea,
loving her new little niece,
loving the Olympics,
loving reading,

and today I finally dared to say to her
"I think you are getting better",
she smiled and agreed,
what a joyful announcement!
 


I'm sharing my JOY this week over at ~

Meri's Musings

10 comments:

Miss Robyn said...

sometimes, you just have to let things be.. for a while xo

Cat said...

wow
this touched my heart
so painfully beautiful
it is tremendously hard to watch those we love walk through darkness
to feel the helplessness
to feel the darkness creep around us
it takes us to our own dark places and uncertainties
it takes great courage to come along side and be still
fixing is so part of our human reaction
blessings to you all as you continue to walk through this
you are a wonderful mom
to be able to sense the shift
it is everything
it all matters

love and light

Deb Crecelius said...

Huge joy.
HUGE JOY.
Blessings on you both.

(Queenmothermamaw) Peggy said...

Dear Sue what an amazing narrative and comparison of the happenings surrounding a breakdown. Have experience one and so has one of our daughters. The photography in itself is dramatic and your words are healing to my heart. Blessings
QMM

Kim Mailhot said...

Oh, Sue, this is so wonderful. I can feel your joy and your daughter, from here.
Surrounding you both with continuing love and light.
xoxo

Meri said...

It's such a glorious day when you finally see the light flicker in someone's eyes for the first time in a long time, especially when the someone grew from your heart. I pray that Charlotte will fall back in love with living and joy and gratitude and never leave those things behind, while bringing the wisdom of the darkness into her life.

sperlygirl said...

here's to the glimmer of light that is finding its way back into her world (and yours) - may you all find strength from the darkness and joy in that beautiful glimmer - and with it also, hope. love & light

Stephanie said...

oh Sue,
So very happy that your daughter is beginning to feel her way back. I can feel the love the joy and hold it and send it back to you 10 fold.

AND, your beautiful 'illustrations' of your joy...sigh

x...x

rebecca said...

oh sue,
i am sitting here holding you both. the mother, the daughter, and each soul fighting their way back to the safe comfort of belonging.
thank you for sharing so poignantly your mothering heart, your daughters flowering, your ever present light.
love to you and to charlotte each of you are bright and exquisite flowers lighting the way for others.

Introverted Art said...

What a beautiful image... just beautiful...