Abstract ~ Slipping Away
I just realized it is ten days since I posted,
I don't like this thought of life galloping away from me whilst feeling time-warped!
I was counting the days since my love passed, it came to a hundred and nineteen but seems
like only yesterday compared to the few score days he was ill, this felt like an eternity of suffering.
I have this photo of him taken not long before he passed,
you can see he is really sick but he has the most beautiful expression on his face.
I talk to it often and kiss it, or should I say 'I talk to him often' for I swear he is still breathing, I can feel him...
This is what scares me the most, the slipping away of him,
some days I try to visualize him, each of his body parts, they are clear,
right down to the little brown spot under his foot.
The hardest thing is remembering his voice, the tone, if only I had recorded it.
He would always sing first thing of a morning when his voice was more gravelly I do remember that...
I'm okay in the home we built together for it was always my ideas he made material, so when I see the stonework or the floor we laid together these are warm thoughts but it is different in the garage, his domain, everything is of him, nothing of me.
I am dismantling his domain now for I have to move soon, this is so hard I feel like I am dismantling him...