Skip to main content

Grief Story on the Hoof ~ Entry 3

Grief Processing
I have a brand new camera, I got it before my love took ill.  I have only used it twice, it was easier to get my old beloved camera out whilst studying technicalities for the switch over.  Then life got in the way and here I am still using my old familiar trusted friend even though the battery casing is broke and held together with an elastic band!


My daughter said I "just have to plough through the days" and this is exactly how it is each day, same, same, I seem stuck in the repeated pattern of grief, I so want to move on from this experience for I feel bogged down.  My house is on the open market without a stir, I keep mowing the grass, keeping up appearances, hoping someone will fall in love with the place as we both did 15 years ago... But then I don't really know where it is I want to go, except for the calling ocean but I just know I need to be away from this, these days, this life.... I want to start again a new life, a new camera, new experiences...


I know grieving is a process, and like any other process, it takes time and I must be patient for it to have its outworking,  however, I know that I am nearing the end of this chapter ready to turn the page, to fly away. In the meantime I am still finding images to play with, to see what becomes, evolves.... 


Comments

Norma Ruttan said…
You are right; grieving is a process. I think I drifted through six months or more in a blur. Sometimes I would scream out my frustration. I couldn't even organize my thoughts enough to pray, asking for help. Getting through all the paper work, credit cards, etc. was accomplished through the guidance of my middle son who is a whiz at all that deadly mountain. I hope you have a support system close at hand.
22 August 2014 at 21:18
Mystic Meandering said…
I so understand wanting to stay with what is familiar during stressful times. It's comforting. I love the phrase: "then life got in the way." I have experienced this so many times as well - life taking me in directions I'd rather not go - leaving me "ploughing through the days." Sometimes it feels like stepping through molasses. All I can say is just keep going... Everything changes. The page will turn, this chapter will end, life will go on... It won't look the same as it did, and it will take you in new directions... Big hugs :) I will email you later...
23 August 2014 at 16:48
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Winged Haiku

Winged things on my mind
bringing messages of peace
but mostly of TRUST




#Artistsforloveis an on-line movement where the overriding principle is one of love and belonging to which I am happy to add my name....   Also linking with Haiku my Heart ~ the Home of inclusion.Recuerda mi Corazon
10 comments
Read more

Happy Haiku New Year

Bare winter branches bathed in mystical moonshine stirring some magic!

Hello and a Happy New Year to you and yours...

I feel like a stranger to this online space it being nearly two months since I last tapped the keys here. I've been living a kind of nomadic existence recently flitting between houses with the addition of my new little tin home that perches on a Welsh hillside overlooking the ocean. What with Christmas and New Year I have been sleeping in random beds! The acquisition of my tin home is something I have dreamed about for ages and now it has come to pass so I've been bathing in ocean magic....

Something else that has kept me creatively occupied lately is my regular postings on Instagram, I have taken to posting haiku and images there as a meditative practice which satisfies both my need to create and also to focus, I have set the intention to continue this practice for 2017 and also to research the subject, perhaps write about my findings here as I believe this art-…
9 comments
Read more

Shadow Land & Spontaneity

Usually in photography I practice the concept of noticing the moments and what arises and arrives spontaneously as opposed to a staging experience i.e. purposefully choosing a subject to capture. Picking up the camera when something hits my radar of perception is second nature and this in turn mostly leads to the pleasurable treasures of intuitive photography.  Recently due to the exceptional brilliance of the autumn sun through my windows there have been lots of opportunities to capture the clarity of shadows or their subtlety for that matter! Shadow photography is a favourite form of imaging for me.  However, I wanted to make the shots a little more defined for added interest so this lead me to try manufacturing the outcome, or in other words staging!  This doesn't come naturally to me during a photography experience for it touches on the subject of control, taking me out of the comfort zone of going with a meditative flow and into the area of thinking or a cognitive interrupti…
2 comments
Read more