Finding my Bliss

Sunday, 30 December 2012

Milk of Human Kindness

The checkout girl uttered in a soft sweet voice
almost as an afterthought
as I was leaving
"happy new year",
I think she knew I needed to hear that!
Her tinkling voice sounded like I would imagine an angel's voice sounds.
Immediately the pain rose all the way from my gullet right up into my head now awash with tears.
I could not hold back the avalanche any longer, it took just one kind word from a stranger
for the release to start, all the pent-up emotion of the last few days, weeks, year..........
she'll never know how touched and thankful I was to hear that little affirmation of human kindness!


The year seems to be ending on a dark note the same as it started.  I have been very ill over Christmas and the weeks before I have not felt too well.  Party plans had to be aborted, spending time with my son and family all had to be postponed, added to that we have also been under flood threat due to the increased rainfall, so our furniture was raised off of the floor!  I have been looking for those chinks of light in the dark and for sure they're there but I'm struggling to locate them just now!

I am not one to give up easily though
I take heart from all the little sparks of light that shine forth here in my 
bloggyworld
I'm already feeling a glow thinking of you all
and therefore I'm taking this opportunity to wish each and every one 
a very very
HAPPY NEW YEAR

Thursday, 20 December 2012

Up-Cycling Susan



My love and I recently had a conversation about re-cycling,
he is very knowledgeable on these subjects you know, he takes great delight in explaining
the details in depth to me which I very often forget,
I simply have not got the capacity for it ;~)

On this one occasion though it has penetrated very deeply!
He explained how some types of garbage cannot be re-cycled but must go to land-fill,
I sighed "oh dear",
He said "but what they do is this,
they layer up the garbage with other composites
then insert pipes through the layers in-order to tap off the methane gas to be used for other purposes".

This connected on more than one level for me,
I recently read these words but am not sure where so don't know who to credit - (please forgive me) 

'Let your pain become rocket fuel for Love'!

If we could harness our pain, emotional and physical - re-cycling it into love how powerful this would be.
I have had a good dose of both types of pain recently,
so I've been about trying this out and I think it's working,
I'm not sure on the exact formula just now but will be posting when it gets clearer.
I feel quite excited about this as when I get surges of pain I'm breathing in deeper
I'm thinking on comforting thoughts, and as I do my feelings are being soothed, my desperation seems to lift!
I feel like there is an exchange going on, that my thoughts are literally changing my physical reality!

I'm expanding my reasoning on how powerful and far reaching the above statement really is  ~
"If we could harness the pain of the world it may be possible to re-cycle it as rocket fuel for love"!

Joy of Joys

Sunday, 16 December 2012

Weeping before the Sun



My heart weeps before the sun
for the mothers who will be finding
ordinary wash days now filled with pain,
longing to see a vest or a dress blowing in the wind,
instead empty hands and heavy hearts
become weighted down with the nothingness.

I pray there will come a healing
in its own due course for the mothers,
the fathers, the brothers and the sisters. 
May all who have been touched by
such an unthinkable thing,
find comfort.


In sympathy with my sisters over the ocean.
Linking with ~

Wednesday, 12 December 2012

Encounters with Mary

My first encounter with Mary was quite a while ago now,
I must have been about five or six years old at the time,
it was in the little country church of my home
where my ancestors lay in the grounds outside.

I don't remember all of the details
but what I do remember vividly was the
feeling I had when I saw the angels with their
incredible wings, I so wanted a pair of those wings, I wanted to fly!

Instead they wrapped a blue cloth around my head and stood me next to Donald Burton!
I think, but am not sure, that I had learnt some words to say to Donald!
The thing I was most sure about though was the feeling I had
when they took the baby doll off of me! At the time I couldn't have cared less
about the 'Starring Role' I was chosen to perform at All Saint's Church nave,
before my parents, teachers, vicar and community,
but the indignity of being given a baby doll then taking it off of me was too much,
let alone not being adorned with those illustrious wings like the other girls!!

Eight or so years later came my second encounter with Mary,
the sweetest, most loving friend of my youth, she actually introduced me
to my husband, she had a cheeky smile and the most persuasive personality,
insisting my love take me for a ride on his motorbike,
he was reluctant at the time being six years older than me, I being just a school kid!

I have a lot to thank my sweet Mary for!


Since those days I have encountered many Mary-like figures in my life but none more so
than the women who shine here on-line, each one sparkling like sequins in Mary's exquisite veil,
promoting peace and love through their creativity and interactions with oneanother!
I can't lay claim to any special spiritual visions from the realms beyond with Mary,
but I don't feel I need to because I sense her spirit in most convincing ways
every time I connect with you all here!
You are all my Mary encounters!

Happy Day 12 of Mornings with Mary!

Brought to us through our beautiful Rebecca, thank you.

Visit
Recuerda mi Corazon

Sunday, 9 December 2012

Dressing table musings with Mary

Sometimes connections come spontaneously.....

The inspiration is here with me today....

I'm flying after what feels like an eternity of being grounded....

My one constant dream is that I can fly,
the feeling is fabulous, 
I find myself being transported off the earth, 
sometimes with a downward movement of the hands and arms 
somewhat like a bird flapping the wings, but I am pushing against gravity
and magically propelling myself upwards where ~

I am among the clouds flying over land masses at speed! 

I'm wondering why everyone doesn't join me,

it is so natural...




Her drawer remains the same, untouched personal items, underwear, socksa bottle of perfume tucked away so as not to clutter the shared dressing table. "I'll leave them" she says " just in case I come back", I think what she meant was, she may return to the former days, ones we want to leave behind! 
The unspeakable days, should we have to go through it all again! 

I said "those days are gone now, leave the drawer if you like but we are not going back there"!

Yes this is one of those days I'm flying in the heavens, head back in the clouds,
I feel well, she feels well, all is well!

We never thought this day would arrive, my girl after a year in major mental breakdown is finally on her own, in her own home, and back at work, it has all been gently gently but she is gathering strength day by day.

I have been through the darkest period of my life so far!  Today is such a beautiful day, the sun shines brilliantly out of doors lighting up each exquisite moment.

I am grateful!

Visit other Mary of the Morning posts
Recuerda mi Corazon

Friday, 7 December 2012

Mary's Embrace




These gentle moments,
nestled with the ones I love,
in Mary's embrace.


Virgin a Day

Linking with
Haiku my Heart


Thursday, 6 December 2012

Exquisite Moments

What am I going to do with this one beautiful day?
It's yoga day, and yes yoga calls,
but something is calling me louder!

I have been having sleepless nights lately,
health issues are causing me distress,
me and the doc are sorting this!

Meanwhile I have vowed to
use the moments between the discomfort to 'revel in' as Susan Jeffers puts it
"those exquisite moments"!

This morning I have a yearning to share:

Sometimes when I wake in the night I see this enormous star dangling in the blackness, it is so bright and beautiful my heart fills from its radiance, then as I look further into the sky and see hundreds of star jewels it reminds me they are like the multitude of exquisite moments in our lives.


As with the blackness of a clear night sky, in life's ''dark night' somehow the jewels sparkle that much brighter, are more precious.  In making my vow to become more aware of these jewel like exquisite moments, I have observed something, the more I look the more I notice with appreciation all the beauty this one life offers, its like peering into the night sky, new jewels are appearing constantly.

We can go through life without giving much attention to the fabulous canopy of stars, take them for granted, they're stars they've always been there.  Like those exquisite moments, we don't always recognise them as such but when we finally see them in their true setting the brilliance is overwhelming!

The lovely Jamie Ridler articulates it most beautifully today in her post, go read ~ My love letter to the World .

The most instrumental tool for me in building up this awareness and appreciation has been my camera and love affair with photography, it lends to observing and noticing little things that may otherwise go by without a thought, the more you notice the deeper you go into a world of both subtlety and stark contrasts, the merest change of light revealing new exquisite moments, bringing with it a rush of gratitude for having been a witness to it all!

Recent 'Exquisite Moments'



“Stars burn clear all night till dawn. 
Do that yourself, 
and a spring will rise in the dark 
with water your deepest thirst is for.”
~
Rumi

Linking with Share the Joy Thursday
Meri's Musings

Sunday, 2 December 2012

Gathering Myself

Today I'm taking a little me time,
doing what I love to do,
just digital
doodling.

My mind has been on dolls,
motherhood,
Mary and the
coming
season.



Recently an acquaintance posted about 'Rag Doll', this is me at the moment,
I feel a bit like a rag doll, the stuffing has been knocked out a little.
So I'm taking time to just be, to gather myself, to see
where I can patch things up a bit, maybe a dash of
rouge will do the trick!  I'm giving myself some
'Mary mother love'.




I'm sending back my thanks
via
Virgin a Day
Recuerda mi Corazon

















I once had a sweet little doll, dears,

The prettiest doll in the world;

Her cheeks were so red and so white; dears,
And her hair was so charmingly curled.

But I lost my poor little doll, dears,

As I played in the heath one day;

And I cried for her more than a week, dears;
But I never could find where she lay.

I found my poor little doll, dears,

As I played in the heath one day:

Folks say she is terrible changed, dears,
For her paint is all washed away,
And her arm trodden off by the cows, dears,
And her hair not the least bit curled:
Yet for old sakes' sake she is still, dears,
The prettiest doll in the world.