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Continuum

A Continuum ~>
continual sequence of ~>
elemental change ~>


By far this is the most difficult post written by myself, ever.
I have not visited this place for sometime...
I have been 'lying low' as an old friend used to put it,
not low through depression or anything like that
but since my love passed away parts of my known world have passed too.
I have difficulty recognizing the landscape around me,
I'm lying low so that I can absorb some of the new terrain.
I am still quite dizzy, it's going to take some time...

Much of what I wrote about here in this space would involve a brief glimpse of 'my love' and our life together. I had thought of closing 'Finding my Bliss', for a pivotal part of everything this blog has stood for seemed on the surface of things to be missing! But as the days have come and gone I am beginning to look at things in a different light and although I am grieving for my love I find I am l feeling his presence, not in a spooky way you understand.  I have this wonderful photograph that was taken of him before he died in the hospice, I talk to it!  He has such a relaxed warm smiling expression on his face that makes me feel so very close to him and whenever I notice the slightest cloud of grief appear I reach for him and I am inspired, not to necessarily move on, but I feel his ever supporting spirit.

Today I should be cleaning house and so forth as it is up for sale, I can no longer afford to live here, but instead I got to reading some up-building posts, one in particular talked about life's moments as being one continuum.  This is how I have come to view what has happened, there have been elemental changes but life is still a 'continuum', I have not let 'my love' go as some would say, I am not clinging to him either or grasping at the past but he is still very much a part of me and the future!

What I have learned so far along this 'continuum', even more poignantly over these last few months, is that 'life is a gift'. I am now learning to look more intently for that gift in everyday... One of the treasured gifts that I put down for awhile after my love's death is the gift of seeing and turning that sight, view, moment into something beautiful, a memory aid. The image above is of something that was catching my eye in the sunshine sparkles of a glass bead bowl, I had to reach for my camera, I intuitively knew there was a gift waiting for me!  

Sure enough there it was the 'continuum' of life flowing,
symbolized like ocean tides and spirals, 
like a cup running over! 
Do you see it too?

Linking with Rebecca at

Haiku my Heart
Recuerda mi Corazon

Comments

Sandra said…
That photo you show is wonderful. To me it looks like the continual flow of life - both within the body and without it.
May the sadness you experience now transform itself, bit by bit, into the gift you can already feel with your fingertips. Departed loved ones may be out of sight, but they remain with us through a soul connection forever.
Norma Ruttan said…
a beautiful image to share with us. even though it's been 8 years since my love died, it brings comfort to me still to sift through photos of him. I started my blog four years after he died. Blogging and scrapbooking led to my healing. Here is my very first venture into the blogging world-http://scrappygrams.blogspot.com/2010/08/blundering.html
Somehow I lost the dashboard (control) of Scrappy Grams. I now write under my childhood nickname of Nonnie. May comfort come to you in unexpected ways. I hope you have someone close to you that you can call upon anytime day or night. If not, I offer my ear to listen via email, found on my blog- http://nonniesobservations.blogspot.com
Starr Sonam said…
All my love to you Sue
Patricia Turner said…
All my heart goes out to you Sue in this time of transition. I am so glad you will be continuing your blog with new insights of your re-constructed life. Your camera will lead you to what you need to see and you will find comfort in it.
Blessings...
Gillena Cox said…
Loss with beautiful memories, i'd say that's a recipe for continuum, best regards

Much love...
Charlotte said…
So glad you've returned to continue to find your bliss, it's such an important part of you. Life without Dad is so different and difficult but as you used to say to me in my darkest hour "there will be good days". Love to you; my wonderful Mum x
During your time of lying low, may you experience moments of exquisite fullness in unexpected ways.
rebecca said…
dearest,
to see you here. to feel your light and beauty and reaching out fills me with a pureness and comfort. you are a font of light, courage, and continuum. i see your amazing bright presence and verve when i look at this photograph. finding you here is finding bliss. one day at a time.
right beside you dearest every step of the way.
xoxo
Lea said…
Dear Sue, thank you for posting, thank you for sharing your words and feelings and this image of the moment... I do see a cup full of possibilities and spirals and the ocean that ebbs and flows... I don't know how we make it through this kind of loss, but somehow we do. I sometimes think it is grace. I wouldn't give up one moment of having had such love to feel such loss. From over here I send my love and a hug to you dear Sue. XO
judie said…
Losing someone you love, someone who is very close to you, is a dreadful experience. Although the pain does ease with time, it will never disappear and that person will occupy a tiny part of your heart forever. That is a good thing, because it brings a measure of peace when most needed. I am so sorry for your loss.
carol l mckenna said…
You have captured the beautiful gift in your photography ~ Your 'love' is all around you ~ watching over you like never before ~ Thank you for sharing your 'light' in your haiku, photo and post ~ it is a treasure ~ sending you lots of distant reiki healing energy ~ Grieving to me is the hardest part of life ~

xoxo

artmusedog and carol (A Creative Harbor)
gma said…
dearest Sue, I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of your love. Sincere heartfelt love and condolences to you.
MJ said…
Breathtaking Sue, your words, your image, your thoughts on life, here and after. Thank you for your depth and sharing the gifts you are receiving, in a most difficult time.
much love...
xoxo
Anne Jeffries said…
This is an ache for which I have no words. But, I do have prayers and offer them.
Cat said…
Oh my dear friend
how beautiful you broke heart is
I am so glad you have decided to remain, though would have understood the departure as well....
Your love is with you, I know it is true and he wants you to live on
he loves you so

take your time
there is no rush
grief takes time
and so it should
I hold a flame for you
as you walk this new and unknown road
I know you will find your way

Love and Light coming from across the seas...xox...♥♥♥
Miss Robyn said…
he was a beautiful soul, the fleeting hours that we spent in his [and your] prescence, will always be remembered by us. You are in my heart and my thoughts constantly, dear friend across the water xoxo

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