Finding my Bliss

Tuesday, 13 May 2014

Processing Pain ...



As humans we want to put rhyme and reason into our experience of existence
for we are made thinking and feeling beings, and to think there is no reason, well this is absurd and unreasonable...

But when pain enters the scenario and particularly your own dear one's excruciating pain that will not go away day after day week after week then all  wise words of connection to the Divine are challenged, you are left with an emptiness, confusion and overwhelm...

You may find yourself despising your words of wisdom, even the words of poets and mystics which once soothed now may take on a hollow tone.

I keep clutching at my thoughts in desperation for the reason, they tell me it is all part of the universal unfolding, for lesson learning, my edification.
 I tell you I haven't got it yet! And, I must carry on along the path for I have no choice...



But still I cannot deny the 'awesome' in everyday, the million facets of beauty sparkling out from all directions of heaven and earth, bombarding my senses, shouting out the reason beyond reason, evident in the depth and breadth of love, the gifts galore in creation and kind hearts ~ I am forever grateful. 

Tuesday, 6 May 2014

Moments Beyond Measure

Today I wanted to say something profound to catch your attention,
but on second thoughts decided that better be left to the mystics, poets and sages,
for words worthy of their weight and restorative to the soul do not come easy...
Instead, I will tell you what 'my love' said
as he lay in the hospital bed...


He said "don't worry about me".

You don't know how precious those few words were, are...
Today like most of the other days in hospital he has been either writhing in pain or medicated into slumber.
Yesterday he was hallucinating most of the day and I imagined I would never be able to speak with him in a meaningful way again. The day before he managed an embrace but no words...

But today he opened his eyes for just one minute, just long enough to say
"don't worry about me",
the tears flowed...

That's 'my love' selfless to the end, my big, brave, strong, unsung hero...

My greatest teacher.
He embodies naturally what I have striven for over the years,
he is a most beautiful person both inside and out.

I don't know how may days we have together,
but the few words and embraces we have
are treasured beyond measure...

My love....x