Finding my Bliss

Friday, 28 September 2012

Thirsting



I'm thirsting for love,
light and possibility,
all in that order.

I am a glass half full kind of person, but I dream of possibility.
I have more than my share of love and light, however I dream of
being more at peace with myself, knowing that possibility is
within arms reach.

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.”

Henry David Thoreau

Linking with
Haiku my Heart
Recuerda mi Corazon

Wednesday, 26 September 2012

Coming Unstuck

This is 'My Book of Belief', that is what I called it,
an altered book that I constructed a number of years ago.
I made it as part of my therapy, an alphabet of positive affirmations.




I love this book, I love how the light shines on the foiled strips, on the sparkly bits and the ribbons.  Of late the strips have become unstuck, they're dropping off. I did intend to re-glue them, but then I started to notice something, a new attraction to the way the book looked.  I started to see the book in a different light, I saw an added dimension, a different element of beauty that the passing of time had bestowed.

My attitude and outlook has changed since I assembled these pages too, although the book is filled with positive affirmations, intentions and rosy thoughts, I have somewhat revised my opinion of 'positive outlooks'. The 'Law of Attraction' for example, this was something I used to enthuse about around the same time I made this book. I could see it so clearly then, how 'the law' worked, what you focus on you get more of!  That idea was as bright and shiny as my sparkling affirmations, no place for doubts, worry, or any other negative feelings, so I thought. 

My reality has changed somewhat, I have come to see things differently. I know there are and will be times when I will feel like my life has become unstuck, when things seem to be falling apart and that I will give way to worry and doubt, I have come to accept this.  I am okay with it because I have begun to appreciate that this too is a part of me, a part of my human makeup, of who I am.  I have come to realise there's a place for all of our emotions, they are a part of the whole human experience.

I will of course re-glue these strips before they drop off completely and get lost, the same with my feelings and emotions, I will sit with them awhile, see the worth of them, the message they have for me, the actions I need to take or not take whichever the case may be! I will then return to my journey until I feel the need to readjust again, fine tune.................. it's an ongoing process..........



Tuesday, 25 September 2012

Frayed

Our boy Dougal Dog
has had three operations on his one eye this past week!
Poor boy we feel so sorry for him, we have to apply drops five times a day too!



Somehow he managed to rub the first stitches loose despite this huge collar! A different vet applied new stitches under sedation, they pulled through the third eyelid this time despite our vigilant watch! Could have been a faulty technique so they haven't charged for the third op. Yesterday he had more surgery, we now take it in turn for Dougal Duty, we have to be aware of his every move, a moment ago I turned my back for one second and he somehow got his back paw inside this cone, I feel sick every-time I check his eye in-case it happens again, my nerves are raw!

We are also on flood watch here, we had the furniture off of the floor last night on the table top,
we spent the whole evening checking the stream levels.

My girl continues to make progress with her own health issues but because we are all here confined with these continual crises, we rub shoulders with each other and sometimes there's a chaffing.

At the moment life seems pants, sucks whichever way I view it!
There I got it off my chest!!!

However, I don't want to leave you on a sour note,
that would never do, they say in the dark there is always "a crack for the light to enter" ~ Cohen 


































So here's my crack,
my light,
 my escape route,
not the wine of-course the camera,
all the same a little drop does help with frayed nerves!


Friday, 21 September 2012

Together



Together we can
travel to the stars and back,
we are soul-sisters.


This week has been one full of emotion for me,
but I have come to appreciate even more the sparkles in my life.

My online sisters and the occasional brother, are you reading me Joe! ;~)
&
My yoga mat mates,
&
My fleshly sister, we are quite a few years apart age wise,
when I was growing up she was already married.
Dallas, (isn't that a super name?) lived overseas for about twenty years 
so when she returned to the UK we had to get to know each other all over again!
Next week we are going to a posh hotel dinner & dance,
today I'm on my way over to hers, 
we are going to talk ~

shoes'n'frocks

this is the nickname my love gave me when I was a slip of a lass,
my proper name being Susan Fox.

Linking with
Haiku my Heart
.
Recuerda mi Corazon

Wednesday, 19 September 2012

Time

Time hung so heavy the day before,
I was so very anxious at the vet's appointment,
I think I had anticipated the worst,
"yes the ulcer is deeper, I think we need to move to the next option now".


This morning we got up early for the op,
we left our dear Dougal in the consultation room,
his claws tried to grip the floor in a get-away as the nice lady vet coaxed him to stay.
We both retreated through the door in silence.
The traffic lights were on green, I had to nudge her,
"we should go" I said, both teary eyed.
We'd been in this place before
when he was a pup, they sewed his inner eyelids together
to save his sight, it was a success then
but no guarantees this time!

Why do I get so emotional?

Is it because this boy owns a piece of both our hearts?
Sharing the ups and downs the traumas
my girl and I have been through this past five years!
I'm not sure why we are so bound together,
but my heart is in my hand over this little chap and her!

He has to keep what they call an Elizabethan collar on for 14 days,
my love calls it his 'lampshade' , he hates it and with his one
working eye he looks so pitiful! Jasper the other dog
won't go near him, he must think he's an alien!

Still we did see some positive signs this day ~

sparkles in the rain,
a rainbow,

two signs ~
 'Jesus loves you'
& 'God's heart burns with so much love for you',
& a big heart sign over my home town,
two magpie birds flew before our windscreen winding down the lane!



Sunday, 16 September 2012

Time for Change


I've taken down that old wallpaper
I'm lightening-up this house
paring-down
simplifying
making space
for expansion ~>

My abstract thoughts
skimmed the waters of time,



landing in the pool of purpose,
sinking to depths of deep emotion,
settling like solitary flint stones in a heap of silence.
Waiting, waiting for the water's bathing, the caressing, the calming and the lightening.


After the waiting they came, surfacing upwards and outwards,
rippling in ever increasing circles, rising, one beautiful thought giving birth to another
until they all merged into the oneness of Self at water's edge, a place called paradise.



Tonight at 9pm we'll be settling down to:

Apple pie & cream
+
 New season's
 'Downton Abbey' 


Yummy :~)

Linking with
Postcards from Paradise

Saturday, 15 September 2012

Sending Out my Signal


The feeling was one of restlessness, since returning from the coast a kind of gloom had set-in. These days I have learned to sit with my feelings for a while, then I follow good advice, I try to distract myself, photography or composing a post usually helps.  Not this day I knew something was blocked... As per normal I frantically search each and every place I could think of for answers, I turned to the DailyOM,  http://www.dailyom.com  I mostly find something that covers my feelings, and of course there were several topics, 
'Finding my Tribe' was one...

I have found sisterhood here on-line, I do consider these women to be part of 'my tribe' but still there is a lack! A physical presence is what I lack, a tangible tribe, to sit with awhile... most of my tribe are faraway overseas, if I had wings I would fly over!  The people I come into contact with on a daily basis, even my fellow yoga sisters, who I have a spiritual bond with do not share my passion for the 'intuitive arts' and when I talk about my 'blog' there is a hush, a silence, like I'm speaking a foreign language!  

I was reading an article in my frantic search yesterday to find intuitive artists, about someone who had left London to live and practice their art in Sweden, because he felt there was a void here in the UK, that whilst conceptual art is very acceptable in the capital, when it came to putting in applications for residencies etc, he had to refrain from speaking about intuitive art in order to win a contract!

My own background of study was more focused on the conceptual, thinking things through and documenting everything prescriptively.  Earlier this year I joined a local art group but due to my broken ankle was not able to continue, but I did not feel at ease in this group, they were again 'focusing on technique', straining with perfection I felt!

This morning I awoke with a fresh feeling, I know there are sisters out there living on this same land mass who have the same desires as I have, to meet and share, I have added a few possibilities to my 'Bliss List', I'm going to keep searching! 

I would dearly love to meet with these 'kin-folk' so I'm sending out my signal!


Friday, 14 September 2012

The Sales



Fleeting memories ~
outgrown summers & dresses,
still, pretty in pink..........


Linking with
Haiku my Heart
Recuerda mi Corazon

Thursday, 13 September 2012

Pool of Possibility

Today I'm home from a
not so joyful trip to the coast,
cut short by two days
on account of ~>
one dog with an ulcerated eye
that may turn to a more serious and costly condition
that has plagued him before, a melting ulcer.
If this condition is not monitored he
could loose his eyesight.

So what to do?

Today's DailyOM speaks about taking five minutes
to do something that makes you happy
in order to turn things around.

So here goes ~> 

I'm diving deep into the blue pool of possibility ~>~>


I surface and take my droplet of hope,


and cast it far and wide in anticipation


that my mantra of  'what is needed for this day' will be met.

Sending my joyful hope to ~>

Meri's Musings
Share the Joy Thursday

Friday, 7 September 2012

One for the Road

Off on my travels,
not before I say 'here here'
to Rebecca's words,


...over at 
Haiku my Heart

Wednesday, 5 September 2012

Wednesday's Words ~ Rumi


 
“Put your thoughts to sleep,
do not let them cast a shadow
over the moon of your heart.
Let go of thinking.”
~ Rumi

Sunday, 2 September 2012

Morning has Broken ~>~>~>~>~> Stone Sojourners

Under the eaves of these ancient stones
I lay beneath my dusky pink quilt,
boys beside me sleeping,
resembling mirror image bookends.


To my rear,
the other-side of my stone backrest
I hear a stirring, a chattering,
this has been going on for months.....
.. these stones of old support life,
both inside and out.

Soon colder September days will settle in,
yesterday morning I noticed a glistening on the pan-tiles,
a sure sign new life will be looking for warmth
between the stones, the dormouse and the stoat.
Sometimes I can hear them getting comfy in the still of night.


Meanwhile the house-martins who have
almost been my bed partners, these last weeks,
just a couple of 'punch faced' stones away
are making plans to vacate,
leaving the safety of these ancient eaves,
finding their way to distant shores, a 'foreboding journey' I feel!
But these little sojourners have big brave hearts,
that beat without falter.

September evening air becomes a spectacular show of
new life energy rising and falling, the martins love this new year's added feature,
their very own diving pond just metres away.


The air of hush is looming and my love will soon proclaim 'they've gone',
I know my heart will sink a little, as a mother's heart sinks
when her child makes way, their first steps to school, university, new home.
I do take heed though knowing they will always remember
the protection in the eaves of these ancient stones,
and as the saying goes 'they'll be back!


Linking with
Postcards from Paradise
Recuerda mi Corazon