Finding my Bliss

Wednesday, 29 August 2012

My Joyful Ordinary Day

It was an ordinary day, 
yet is was no ordinary day.

The warm sun was kind to my face,
while the cool breeze from the open window 
bathed my neck.

The view from my seat was brilliant
like someone had switched from monochrome
to HD colour and I was fully tuned in.

I wanted to make this day count,
so at every stop I captured




the moments, like when the lady wearing white trousers
that mysteriously reflected on my window alighted the bus and
when the lady in the white sun top boarded, the breeze blowing her fragrance before.

My senses were on full alert,
I felt so receptive to life, it felt like
life was smacking me in the face
like the splashing of cold water
on a perspiring forehead,
a wonderful
feeling.

I felt so intimately
connected to life and
all that was going on
around me after what seemed
like a period of disconnection.

As I neared the end of my
sacred ordinary journey, thinking
about all of the young people
getting on and off the bus,
I began to think of my life's journey
being quite away down the road
from these folks, how it seems to be whizzing by.

I suppose the last stop
was most painfully poignant
<~ but the most beautiful capture of the day I think,
 don't you agree?  





Journey's end, Nottingham,  
a university city   
famous for visual arts.
Linking with
Share the Joy Thursday


Sunday, 26 August 2012

Stars in Their Eyes

Today
I'm struggling
to find the words
of communication
so instead my offering is
a digital rendition of my observational drawing ~>



"Shine like the whole universe is yours." ~ Rumi

Linking with
Postcards from Paradise
Recuerda mi Corazon

Friday, 24 August 2012

Speeding By ~>~>~>

In keen awareness
I'm savouring the moments
as seasons speed by ~>~>~>


My sister is twelve years older than me, she said a few years back
"you watch when you get to my age then time really does fly".
These words keep reverberating in my ears, it seems
 no sooner the old year has passed than summer is
 upon us then swiftly making her retreat!

The melancholy may last for a moment or two
'The Party's Over' tune dances in my head
for awhile, I allow this feeling it's place,
this experience, for I know this is
one of many in this beautiful
thing called life!

Linking with
Haiku my Heart

Recuerda mi Corazon

Tuesday, 21 August 2012

The Real Susan please Stand Up


Yesterday was full of colour,
today feels more like all shades of grey.
Not complaining though, these days have their turn, it is part of who I am?

Like this self-portrait, I'm not sure which version of me I am today?
Feeling vulnerable, uneasy, chatter going on in my head.

I noticed too there are little pieces of me missing 
in the image, that's exactly how I feel,
missing pieces not knowing what?

A well used phrase comes to mind -
"you are enough", a gentle affirming reminder 
to myself to just be with it all, yet
the feelings persist. I feel like I'm
too much for myself today!

But, tomorrow is tomorrow,
a brand new day, 
most likely a different 
version of me will come to the fore, 
the Susan I have come to know so well,
the Susan who is mostly consistent these days,
she is still there among all the chatter, she listens, 
she assures saying hush hush, all is well.

Intention ~ practice being, accepting, being kind to self in all seasons,
                  the blacks, the greys and every colour between.


Sunday, 19 August 2012

Spiritual Sunday ~ Thankful


All things bright and beautiful

All creatures great and small

All things wise and wonderful

I'm thankful for them All
Today has been one of those lazy Sunday afternoon days, 
I must admit to being in PJ's till noon,
got sidetracked by these beauties,
am sending my postcards to ~

Postcards from Paradise

Friday, 17 August 2012

Birthing a Star

Colour explosion,
right brain-storm activity
birthing textile star.


My fingers found their way to some experimentation,
using fabric and heated fusing tool.
(work in progress!)

Linking with
Haiku my Heart
Recuerda mi Corazon

Thursday, 16 August 2012

Digging for Gold

Yesterday my love and I went to the reclamation yard,
these places are big business over here in England.
We were looking for some paving stones, 
old ones in keeping with our old
cottage.

We have a huge driveway that is full of weeds.
When our property was flooded in 2007
the beautiful gravel drive that my love
had spent many hours constructing
ended up in the brook, 
the flood just swept it all away.













We have not been able to afford
for a company to restore a 
more permanent drive, 
one which would not be swept away 
should we have another flood.

We searched  the yard for old concrete slabs for the drive,
which our budget might run to, old stone pavers being very expensive,
but the yard didn't have any, on our search I noticed 
some reclaimed building stones which are very 
valuable too, at this point
in my mind I was feeling very 
sorry for my love, knowing he must have seen them too,
for I know he would dearly love to build a stone wall to help keep the floods out!





























(The bridge at the far end of this photo shows the stream had risen about 8 feet!)

At this point my mantra flashed before me ~
'what I need will be there in the moment'

Not exactly in 'that moment' but the day after,
Lo & behold ~
for some reason  my love started 
to examine an area of ground that he
thought was unusually raised, this is what he found ~
PURE GOLD, not exactly, but as good as!


These stones are worth a small FORTUNE,
now we may be able to build the wall!
I'm a strong believer in intuition!

Linking with
Share the Joy Thursday at
Meri's Musings

Tuesday, 14 August 2012

Sifting & Sorting

Today I'm sifting and sorting,
clearing out clutter from my mind.
Things from the past that no longer fit,
or good for purpose, 
I examine their worth
under the lens of Spirit and self,
with fresh eyes.

I'm creating space to focus
on the soft fragments 
of what remain.
I wish to wear this life as a 
"loose fitting garment",
so that I may move more freely
 and at ease with self.

Sunday, 12 August 2012

Returning to Ritual

It seems like only yesterday......



How I loved those razor sharp pleats
I waited patiently as she ironed the last crease,
like it took her an eternity, but so worth the wait.
I slipped into my little sassy skirt
and off in a flash to the ball,
the mirror ball that was, hovering over the Victoria Ballroom.

On arrival I remember guitar notes
of 'Wonderful Land'echoing in the empty ballroom air and the sun gleaming through those Victorian window panes,
the ball reflecting it's shimmering, flickering lights on the shiny wooden dance floor and to me that was, a most wonderful land!
The anticipation rose as the room filled,
soon I'd be  strutting my stuff, swirling my skirt as high as it would go, oh the thrill of it all, the boys may even see my knickers!
What did I care?
I rather liked it!

She, my Mum, was just the best at ironing, they ironed for hours in those days, the women folk.  After World War II in England it was unheard of for 'ladies' to work, their work was about house and home, of which laundering took precedence, washing Monday, ironing Tuesday, everything went in the basket, from Dad's dungarees to dusters!






















Today I'm revising my opinion about ironing,
yesterday only the necessities got done,
time was too valuable to waste on trivia, so I thought.
Today I feel different, I began to remember a time when I delighted in clean, freshly ironed bed linen on my bed, remembering too how therapeutic it was to smooth over those creases whilst my mind meandered here and there.

But, more than that, today it's about honing in on the precious skills my mother taught me, by so doing honouring her through ritual, remembering how loving she was, taking pride in her work and her child.

Keeping her beautiful self vivid and alive in my mind,
lest I forget how grateful I am to her for life itself,
is part of my revised ritual.  
"dashing away with the smoothing iron"

 Sending to Postcards from Paradise


Wednesday, 8 August 2012

Slow Subtle Shift

Subtly in slight



hardly noticeable









increments





shift happens



shadows recede




colours emerge and intensify


and slowly, slowly the details of life come back into focus.

My lovely daughter has started to see a little colour return to her life after months,
nearly a year of living in darkness, since her major mental health breakdown occurred.
Charlotte is not out of the woods, she's not ready to focus
on the finer detail of life yet but signs of returning to
normality are appearing.

The days and months were distressing for all of us seeing no change,
watching helplessly as no medicine nor motivational urging made any difference.
Each day was the same just the silence and the shaking......

I repeatedly told her she would get better,
sometimes I thought I was making this statement
as much to convince myself,
she hardly ever responded.

I got to the point where I just thought
I've tried everything,
I can't fix it,
so I stopped trying so hard,
I was just there for her,
a place of safety.

But then I began to notice small changes,
nothing I could put my finger on,
just something in the air,
a subtle change like the day
something on the wind
whispers to you autumn's coming!

It was like that something inside of me whispered she's getting better!

This last couple of weeks have been so encouraging, she's been

loving our few days by the sea,
loving her new little niece,
loving the Olympics,
loving reading,

and today I finally dared to say to her
"I think you are getting better",
she smiled and agreed,
what a joyful announcement!
 


I'm sharing my JOY this week over at ~

Meri's Musings

Wednesday, 1 August 2012

Meanings ~


*
*
*
*
    
soft
gentle
promises
of
life
love
hope
faith
&
beautiful
seeds
of
connection
Do 
you
see them
too?

I'm going away for a few days
in our sweet old camper
'Celeste'
(meaning heavenly)
because she always takes us to heavenly places!